The Voice Within

Check this out!

2007-05-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

Check this out. http://www.traveltreasure.blog-city.com/ikoi.htm

This Japanese restaurant serves really delicious food. My colleagues and I ate from 7pm-10 plus. It's worth every cent indeed, especially when it comes to the Sashimi (high in Omega 3 leh).

My mum, my friend

2007-05-14T02:51:00.000-07:00

If I would describe my mum, I would say that she's everything I wish for in a person. A confider, a friend and definitely my best kept secret. I love her because of all the sacrifices she has made in making me a better person. She never once tear down my self-esteem. Her words are always seasoned with wisdom, love and affection. Still remembered when I was posted to Normal Academic, my worlds were torn apart. She noticed my disappointment and encouraged me to work hard. I will never forget the little note she gave me which made me teared. She wrote "God loves you and I love you too no matter what".

My mum knows my past hurts. Some really bitter ones that consumed me even up till today. However, she constantly prays for me and always points me to Jesus. It's so comforting to know that your parents are praying for you and inteceding for you behind close doors.

She rejoices with me too over many of life's issues. She was happier than I was when I aced my exams, when I entered my desired job and when...;)

Not forgetting the food she cooks. I love her style of cooking. She always amazes me with new dishes. What a creative mum I have! My mum is so good in cooking that she doesn't allow me to enter the kitchen and start cooking food for the family, of fear that I will turn the whole kitchen upside down.

I guess I'm getting to appreciate this mum of mine more and more because she deserves the best. And I'm grateful to God for this special gift that He has bestowed upon me throughout this lifetime.

Sis, bro and I woke up at 6:30am on Sunday to prepare breakfast for her. How nice of us ya? Where to find such good children?

Hairy days

2007-05-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hair treatment at Kimage lasted only a day. There goes my $30.50.

Hehe, Val, lets try some other salons next time k? =)

All about work

2007-05-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

This week, I questioned myself, and because I could not come to a conclusion, I decided to weigh the benefits of working versus studying. In the past, during my school holidays, I would take up a part-time job. Seriously, not because of wanting to earn money, but rather, I do find pleasure in working. But now, here I am in the working society, but then it does not appeal to me as much as before. I do not detest working. Neither do I love it. Just that, sometimes, I feel that working is kind of meaningless. Especially when you start to get busy, and you come to a point that you don't have time for anything, you will start appreciating the beauty of studying.

I'm now having my in-store attachment at Novena Square. Well, I hate the treatment of being treated like a maid. Cleaning shelves is defintely a no-no for me, cos I'm here to learn and not be a maid. Thank God, it's gonna be over soon.

And then in a few days time again, I'll be involved in the Osim fair at Takashimaya. I'm really looking forward to it cos I do love exibitions. I love random stuffs.

Michelle's leaving, which means I'm now the senior in my department. Funny isn't it? But I do feel stress, cos I have to handle almost everything. At times I do doubt my knowledge, my skills, my abilities. But at those times when I feel inadequate, I'm grateful for friends who stand by me and encourage me no matter what. Thanks for believing in me and giving me true courage.

Peek-a-boo

2007-04-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dinner and Dance 2007 at Corad Hotel was fantastic! It's really amazing how everything turned out so well. Everything was so well planned. Firstly, I'm really thankful for Leng who kindly fetch me home so that I wont be caught in the heavy downpour- and because of that, I had ample time do do up my hair.

I really enjoyed the duo makeup session I had with Joy too. Since her house was so far from office, I actually invited her to my house so that she could take a bath and be well-prepared for the night rather than staying in the office alone. And we were like 'make-up idiots', trying out different eye shadows and lip sticks.

This dinner and dance was pretty cool in the sense that people from Osim and GNC came together. It was a great time getting to know people and building lots of good friendship. The food was awesome, especially the Sharkfins soup and the seafood salad. It tasted so much like Heaven. And then there was a 45 minutes magic show, followed by lots and lots of games. The atmosphere was great cos everyone was so enthusiastic in the games and the dance.

Looking back, well although it's not too far back, I'm glad that the good God has sustained me thus far. I'm already closed to 7 months in GNC. Cant believe that time has passed so fast. I've truely learnt much- the hard way!!!Haha.

As much as I like my job, I'm also thinking of going back to my student life. But I'm comtemplating between the two choices I have in mind. I hate making decisions at times cos you would see me in deep thoughts, and when it's really time for me to respond to that decision, I'll be in a confused state, thereby making wrong decisions.

Because I was sicked for 2 days, I took leave and spent the time watching Full House. Mann, it was so touching. I love the ending. As I watched, I was at the same time building sand castles in the air. If only every love story ends it this way...how nice would it be:)

At the Cross

2007-04-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

We had loads of fun at Li Ying's 21st bdae party. The baby of our group has grown up into a fine young lady, while the rest of us are in the midst of the ageing process. But truely, isnt the feeling just right now since we are no longer small little kids but young adults?=) It was a great time of catching up with one another about our lives. What a blessing to have them around!

And throughout this week, I got the chance to also catch up with my ex-colleagues for dinner too. They have been a bunch of great joy to me, always instilling this zest of pure happiness into my life. I'm gonna miss them.

This week was pretty smooth sailing for me in terms of work. Had a fair share of hard work and laughter/ fun. So glad I'm getting the hang out of things.

Although things are pretty alright, I know that I'm also in the midst of testing. I feel that I'm in this struggle where I know and I want to do good to this particular person. But I feel I can't. Like what is said in Romans: The things you want to do, you do not do. However, the things that you should not do, this I keep on doing. It's really a challenge not to be Christian only by name but to be a Christian where Christ reigns and rules in my life. A life that is pleasing and acceptable to Him...A life that counts for God in every situation.

Last Sunday's sermon really spoke to me. Pastor was preeching about having a santuary that you could go to. It may not always be the church. For Jonah, his santuary was in the big fish, for Daniel, his santuary was in the lion's den. Well, I guess my santuary would be anywhere that brings me a step closer to creation. I love nature so perhaps for me, it would be the Singapore River. A santuary should be a place where you can meet God and tell him all that is bottling within your inner being. It's also a place where it points you back to the cross, knowing again that there's no greater love than this. There's nothing that will seperate me from His love, His grace and His mercy. It is also at the cross where the veil is tored, because God has made a way. Indeed, everything was done on the cross for us. How much more should we be grateful for the price Christ had paid. I'm amazed once again.

Visiting Bugis at 2pm

The result of being 'so into it'

2007-04-15T08:10:00.000-07:00

I love reality cos it always shows how bad I am at daydreaming. It strucks me like no one else business. Knowing later that I've been fooled is really no joke. Hacked it!!!

He Chose the nails

2007-04-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hi people,

Would like to share this powerful website with you. It talks about God's love for us on the cross for you and me. How much more should we live our life for Christ? The answer is just a click away. Enjoy and may you be blessed!
http://www.hechosethenails.net.

Friendship

2007-04-08T03:16:00.000-07:00

I love New York Cafe and everything in it. The ambience is pretty good with cosy sofas to sit on. And the food was awesome. I quite like the way the pasta is done. The composition of cheese is just nice, not so cheesy to the extent that you are 'cheese overdose'. Of course, with the company of my secondary school friends, the night complete. It's with so much ease and comfort with these 2 lovely ladies that allows me to stay true to who I really am.

It's so true that as we grow older, we have a clearer picture of who your genuine friends really are. The ones who stay by you no matter what happen, the ones who always pull you along and spur you on rather than tear you down, the ones that give you room to cry and love you for who you really are, the ones that allow you to grow, the ones that put a thought to your feelings- these are your real friends.

My sis is my friend too!

I hope the one who left for Outer Space will come back soon.

Muscle woman

2007-03-22T06:08:00.000-07:00

The world can be quite ridiculous at times. But we human are in one way or another influenced by this crazy world that robs us from who we really are, and the self-worth. The world, as often viewed as a bowl stuffed with many people often signifies the evil side of the human race. Cos when there's temptations and lust, people sin, thinking that it's part and parcel of life. And when the human race is concerned, people are also fighting for their rights, trying to weave through to the very top. Such scheming thoughts, words and actions are accepted? Perhaps there's no right or wrong here cos this issue is subjective. The world is full of competition. How then should we live our lifes knowing at the back of our mind that people are there to out-win you, to tear you down, to destroy the very person you are and always wanted to be? Thankfully, we can dwell in this comfort that we will be kept safe in this crazy, fuzzy little world and just do our part in accomplishing God's kingdom purposes in the world. People's words do hurt at times. I've witness it myself. Perhaps, rather I was a victim myself. They belittle me just bacause I'm still considered new. Oblivious to what may seems mundane or routine in everyday practices. Everyday, I looked back and say to myself "It must be God who beautifully pave the way for me". Seriously, without Him, I can do nothing. Indeed, a survival in the making!!!

Look at it this way

2007-03-16T20:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, cant wait for work to end. 1 and a half more hours to go and off to Tampines for my shopping with my dearest friend. Seriously, I do not drag going to work on Saturdays. I actually enjoy it, perhaps a day I always look forward too cos it's the only day that has work but no stress. Sometimes, during the weekdays, the workload really drives me crazy, sometimes I break down cos I just could not handle them all. The emotional stress, mental stress and the physial stress. But I thank God that at times when I could not breath any longer, His hands sustains me, and He delivered me from all my fears. It's comforting to know that the God of the Universe cares to reach out and keep His children safe.

I drew so much closer to God this week. Kenneth said something which keeps me pondering almost everyday. He said "You must first draw close to God first, your life must be godly first before........................................" (ok, fill in the blanks youself). Anyway, yes, it's indeed it's so true. So yeah, this would be added to my list of resolution for this year.

Johnathan and Annie's wedding was a blast. I enjoyed it to the max. I was so so happy for the both of them that I could not sleep the night before. I told my friends and they said that the bride should be the one who cannot sleep and not me... Haha. It was a good time of catching up with Zen and the 'BEST MAN' for that day.

Went to Sentosa with my family 2 days back. In just a few months, there's so many changes in Sentosa. The number of facilities is indeed astounding. Took lots and lots of photos as my dad tries out our new digicam.

Oh yes, and I'm in love with GUESS. Cant wait for my next month's pay and then I'll start spending.......................................=)

2 tennis lessons have passed and I'm down to 6 moew practices. It's pretty easy to play. Just that the challenge comes straight after I'm back home. Cos I'll start complaining of muscleaches and what not.

And the BSF. Thought it will be starting soon but their actual session would only begin in June. I'm set on that although the distance is really far.

Poo, it's only 12:08pm now.

In Him I trust

2007-02-25T20:04:00.000-08:00

God understands my needs. He sent the right people at the right time to cheer me up and allow me to stand back on my feet. It seemed easier to move on this time round because I got my perspectives right from the very beginning. Therefore, the letting go was not at all a difficult task. It was a decision made and I was at peace with myself. I felt extremely cynical about the whole incident. How can something that was meant to last change overnight? Sometimes, it's best not to know the reason behind the action, but to trust in God that something better is going to take place. He will make all things beautiful in His time. Thanks for meeting me over lunch and sharing with me your experiences. It definitely allowed me to reconsider the issues raised. And also, thanks for the call from Canada. Just when I needed someone to talk to, you called. I'm truely blessed.

help me!

2007-01-10T04:38:00.000-08:00

I hope tomorrow never come. I'm so afraid of stepping into my office tomorrow because I know I would have to face the music because of the wrong information being conveyed to my boss. And the fact that I've covered up for my mistakes has reached a point where it doesn't make any sense when I rehearsed whatever I said earlier. It would simply make matters worst. So, I've decided to just eat on this humble pie and admit my silly mistakes and move on. I just need grace at this point now cos I'm still under probation. I was called into the office afew days back, and I'm glad that my performance has met my boss' expectation so far. Sad to say, this thing had to happen today, and I'm really really quite worried about it cos in a few more days, they would reveal my confirmation.

I asked myself everytime that emotion comes into my life and disrupts my whole being. I questioned myself why I always felt that way. Deep down, I know that there's this hatred and anger in me. That's the thing that I must resolve because I dont want to cling on to it any longer.

Last Saturday was the first time I attended my friend's wedding dinner. Because Christopher and Elaine are malaysian, the way they handled the entire wedding dinner was totally different as compared to local wedding dinner. Throughout the dinner, there would be different groups going up to the stage to give a performance. And what was extremely amusing was the fact that these people were singing Chinese new year songs instead on those romantic love songs. Oh my...but it was afterall a goody good experience.

And just few days back again, Jessie treated michelle and I to a Japanese restaurant in Parkway. I really ate to my heart's content. I just cant stop la, seeing all those sashimi and udon just makes me crave for more.

I enjoyed myself at the GNC mega sales last weekend too cos I was teamed up with a bunch of funky people. And throughout, we were there entertaining ourselves and just loving the crowd. I was incharged of the counter and my job was simple and fun- To approach handsome, cool and fit guys...can you imagine? HAHA. And what I was supposed to do was to convinced them to sign up for the 'body-for-life' contest. And the best part of the exibition was that I got to sit all the way while most people dont even have a chance to sit. It was indeed a great blessing. Perhaps God knows that I have lazy legs. This is my best exibition experience so far. I'm loving my job to bits.

When I say

2007-01-05T17:41:00.000-08:00

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'.
"I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I 'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner

Forever

2006-12-25T04:08:00.000-08:00

I'm so thankful to have them in my life! A simple friendship that only the 3 of us can understand!

In the mood for Christmas

2006-12-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Walking down the streets of Orchard Road, adoring every single christmas lightings and enjoying the comfort of good friends has indeed made my day worthwhile. The whole stretch of Orchard was so filled with life and heartfelt spirit. Indeed, christmas ought to be a joyous season where we share the gift of love to all our dear ones. Everyone looks forward to Christmas. Who doesn't? It's a time when people will be busily buying gifts for friends, or rushing to places where there's year-end sales, like the MANGO sales which we passed by just now, and a time when we catch up with our friends.

But for today, it was altogether a different fill when I walked down the streets of Orchard Road. I was caught up with almost everything. Seriously, everything. Like this group of people who sang 'li wu' (gift) and those people posing as mary and joseph, and the lightings, and the different booths which we went to especially the crisis relief booth. Yes, God spoke to me throughtout the walking. It's hard to explain how I felt at that point of time. But I knew God used all these things that I've seen to draw me back to Him. I have been failing Him time and time again and everytime I realised that I'm not consistently attached to the vine. It dawned on me that it's been sometime since I last did something for God. And I pray that as I continue to seek Him, He will reveal to me my life's calling and entrust me with things that I can do for Him. I thank God for the boldness today, the boldness to ask. (Ruth, thanks for praying)

There's really something so unique about Christmas cos there's a story to tell, a legacy for us to carry on. It's because of Christ that we can be what we are today. Good education, supportive family, wise government, stable career, wonderful friends...It's all because of Jesus and His redeeming grace. What more can we give than to give our lifes to Him.

I will serve You
Because I love You
You have given life to me
I was nothing until You found me
You have given life to me

Hardaches, broken pieces
That is why You died on calvery
Your love is what I long for
You have given life to me

*Reaching one more for Jesus*

It all happened when you least expect it

2006-11-29T07:33:00.000-08:00

I'm going to mark this day. A day that I will remember. With much love.

you are forgiven =)

2006-11-25T08:05:00.000-08:00

When Kenneth first told me that he would be holding his 21st birthday party at his house, I went "What, so far, you mean yishun?" And he replied, "ya, haha". The baby of our cg has just turned 21.

The trip from Ubi to Yishun was not at all pleasant that day. It started off with a horrible traffic jam at Ubi. You know, traffic over there can be quite an ass especially after 6pm. Then Miss Jeany who was supposed to meet me at 7:30pm was apparently late for an hour. I was super mad. Qihui and Constance could witness how angry I was. There was a mild to moderate tension but it was really funny. I mean the whole thing seemed so dramatic. I guessed Jeany must have felt guilty, while I felt like bursting into tears. And so we talked about how she going to make up for all these. She actually got food for me when we reached kenneth's place. And today, I received another surprise. Take a look at the link below. Yeah, how can I not forgive you Jean. =) Haha. Jean gave me a task and I need to accomplish it tomorrow.
http://www.yousendit.com/download/dbd8cQMvp3k=

It must be

2006-11-23T01:08:00.000-08:00

I'm overly stressed with work? I did not realise it until I started counting the number of pimples I have. Goodness. What to do? I like my work too much. =) But the fact that I have to put on make-up everyday would simply means that my condition will not improve.

Tomorrow is the day that I'm definitely looking forward to cos I'll be involved in Sexpo. I think Singapore is good in the sense that our government promotes sex in a very professional way. I guessed tomorrow will be a day where I'll get to really see people with pervertic intentions, or those who visit sexpo with the aim of educating themselves. And I think I'll get to see customers who would quickly get their necessary stuffs or equipment and then quickly leave the door. Well, well, well, it's gonna be a day where I get to experience another side of life. An experience that people above the age of 21 can attend.

My darlings!

Would loving someone means not telling the person but continue to love him secretly?
Would loving someone means telling him that you have someone else in mind, but in actual fact he's the one that you love?
Would loving someone means showing love, care and concern to him from afar, not letting him know that you are the one showering him with love?
Would loving someone means telling others you have already forgotten about him, but in actual fact, he still has a special place in your heart?
Would loving someone means smiling at all his funny jokes but say to yourself that he's the reason behind my every cry?
Would loving someone means saying it's just seems better to remain as friends than lovers?
Would loving someone means keeping all his smses, reembering all his sweet talks, but trying hard to erase whatever that was said so as to forget him?
Would loving someone means all is not loss because the time that you've invested would actually mean that you've proven your love to him?

You lift up my head

2006-11-18T08:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the last day of my job attachment at Citylink mall, GNC. 2 weeks passed so quickly and coming Monday, I'll be back to work in the office. I truely learnt lots of things during my days over there, familiarising myself with all the products and also in the aspect of arts of service. I guessed the most fulfilling part of it all is the fact that I've made friends with lots of wonderful colleagues, and I feel extremely belonged in this company. Anything and everything that happens is simply because of Jesus and His amazing love for me. It's indeed a blessing to be able to work in the area you really enjoy although Ubi always has traffic jams.
Headed with mum and brother to Singapore Expo's food fair. Ate alot without even thinking that all those foods are super unhealthy.

And today, gluttony got a hold on me again. Keep eating non-stop at Seoul Garden. I knew I had to stop cos my brain told me so, but I just couldn't bring myself to put a halt to my cravings for more. Now, I'm feeling oh so sinful, cos my fats are starting to show. No more foods for tomorrow. Just fruits and vegetables will do.

God has answered my prayers in ways that displayed His character in my life. A God of much more and a God of favor. It's always a good discipline to not rush into things and try to make things happen or handle our own situations, but rather pray about the issue, and trust God. In due time, He will reveal His plans, His purposes for our destiny, if only we are WILLING TO WAIT AND LISTEN.

I won the first prize in a lucky draw. I was eyeing on the product from afar, hoping that I would be that lucky person, and I really was. Wahaha. A $100 plus worth of collagen matrix. Sounds cool right? This product simply helps to promote skin rejuvenation, improves elasticity and prevents aging. What more can I ask for?

And yes. Ying Ci is back from Aussie land. =)

Cant wait for Monday to come.

Last time I depended on Warheads to keep me awake. Somehow it doesnt work as effective as before. Sad to say, I'm a coffee addict now. =p

you mean the world to me

2006-11-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

Here I am blogging again. I've enjoyed every bit of my 21st birthday celebration just as my friends enjoyed it. Coming up with the orders was not an easy task at all cos you need to ensure that the food is sufficient for everyone. Yep, but thank God that everything went on perfectly fine. Shuyi and Seamas went earlier to help me with the decor and we had a load fun of it blowing balloons and tying them. When people started streaming in, I did a headcount in my mind and i realised that my poly friends are not there. The first person I called was Sharon. And she said that all of them will not be going as Yin xuan needs to study, she is sick and San has last minute things to attend to. I thought it was for real cos Sharon said that she messaged me in the afternoon to inform me already. I was on the verge of crying mann... Then, as I was talking to her, I heard the MRT personnel giving an announcement. Goodness, I knew this prank was for real. Second person I called was San. I know from Poly year 1 that she wont just hang up my phone. Oh, but she did, and it double confirmed that it was a prang. They are all nearby la, just that they are late. =) I enjoyed the game that San planned for me. She was super enthusiastic and really brought up the entire atmosphere. Thanks San=) The game was 'All about Evelyn', where she asked questions like what's my favourite song, my favourite food, my favourite drink, my favourite hobby....and I did a forfeit where I got to dip fries into some weird, tangy sauce that they have deliberately mixed. The expression was seen on my face almost instantly. It tasted horrible. Haha. And my church friends are simply awesome. They dedicated a song to me and I was really touched. We went down to the first floor and sat infront of the band as they sang ' You look wonderful tonight'. Mann, that's my favourite song apart from 'Goodbye'. It took me by surprise too when my parents gave a short speech infront of everyone. Oops, my secret is out, that I like to teach soft toys during my younger days.

After the party, my secondary school friends and I headed to Rouge for clubbing. Started the night with Vodka, then Virgin Mary and lastly, Martinis. I tried beer but still did not like the bitter taste. I used to like heiniken but not now. And because there was a live band again at Rouge, my friends dedicated another song to me. I had a great time that night. It was a new birth, a birth into womanhood, an enchanting moment of great discovery.

I'm enjoying my 2nd week of work. Everyday is a new day, with lots of challenges ahead. And I'm looking forward to everyday of my life because I know that life is meant to be enjoyed. I guessed the best birthday gift is this job that God has provided and I want to do my best for His glory.

I think I caught a flu bug. It has already been 3 days and yesterday's pain was extremely agonising. I could not sleep till 7am. Kept vommiting and experiencing aches. I need more vitamins to boost up my immunity or else I'll feel like an old woman in no time.

Meeting Jacelyn and 3 other guys later for a movie. I hope I will be well enough to go later.

Fly to where you should be

2006-10-30T07:35:00.000-08:00

Shooo, this verse spoke to me afew days back and unknowingly, it has been on my mind these while.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in love, in faith and in purity."

1 Timothy4:12

And another thing that spoke to me this week would be that a hurried life would mean an unexamined life. And when self-examination is out of our lives, we tend to lose focus on our life's purpose or to put it simply, for whom we are living for. Last Sunday's speaker went on to say that Godliness is not just about holy behaviour but rather an inner devotion to God in which we should be man and woman after God's own heart. Is God the centre of your life, your family, your friends, workplace, school?

Last Saturday was the day where my emotions started to erupt for reasons I do not know. It just came and ruin my day and then it went away.

That's Gin, Christine, Sonia, Sze Ling and me. Actually I was thinking if I should be present for Sonia's bdae party. After sorting my thoughts, I decided not to go. But then again, after an hour or so, I made up my mind to go. This time round, S (not in picture) accompanied me!!! Thanks. It was a great time of fellowship. And we felt that we have matured so much because our conversation now is about career and marriage. Haha. Cool beans. Notorious people like us in the past have become demure, young ladies. =)

******************
Some random stuff
******************
Aloysius: What do you want for your birthday?
Me: No need la...anything also can
Aloysius: A bottle of my blood?
Me: Sure. But aren't you going to choke me then?
Aloysius: Haha, then what?
Me: Haha

Vivocity isn't that good to shop at all. There's indeed lots of shops but the things are not that cheap after all. And shops like aldo, guess, G2000 can be found in Orchard. But what's interesting about Vivocity is the Food Republic at the last level. I like the concept and the layout. It's really cool. And while places like Kopitiam and Banquet plays pop music at the background, here, we get to hear teochew and hokkien music. Even simple food like beef noodle looks so nice.

In Christ Alone where love and joy abounds

2006-10-24T20:04:00.000-07:00

Woke up today with much joy in my heart. I cant really describe that inner feeling but i know that God has placed that peace, that love and that joy in my heart. And now, as I'm typing my blog, with some christian musics being played at the background, this feeling is simply awesome. I hope this lingering feel would just go on and on.

"Each time I think of You the praises starts"
"Love You so much, Jesus, love You so much"
"How my souls longs for You, longs to worship You forever, in Your power and majesty"

"In Christ alone
I placed my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope, is Christ alone"

Take me deeper Lord!

The beginning of this week was spent at the Botanic garden with Jeany. We were really that close to creation. Everything's so bright and beautiful. We often take things for granted. The trees of the fields, the birds, the fresh air and yes, even our lives as well. It's good at times to get out of our overly stressed lives and come close to nature. It's indeed therapeutic.

1 more week to slack before I start working again. This time round in CPF board. Hopefully I can get something out of it. 10 more days and I'll know the outcome.

And yes! The dance steps that seemed oh so impossible to me is starting to fade. And Eve is just so happy over her small little achievement. =)

Going for another friend's 21st birthday this Sat. Excited! Excited! Excited!

Vivocity. Wait for me. I'll be there later at 4pm.

Beyond the horizon

2006-10-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

I'm getting more and more mad at myself cos I feel that I'm at a point where I cant understand myself anymore. Nothing seems to interest me really and I'm so tired of everything. I'm numbed! Funny isn't it? When at times you experience something good and you feel as if you are on top of the world. But at certain times, when something, perhaps a minute thing hit you hard right at your face, you start to grumble and complain, hoping to get that ass out of you. (Just wanting to vent my anger here, pardon me).

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I cant believe how can one not give a damm to someone who comes all the way from Myanmar to work and yet not pay attention to their personal welfare. Not blaming the general public, but in particular, the Organisation these Myanmar girls are attached to. The employers always put a false front to people around, wanting people to perceive them as someone of great accomplishments, but these are all nothing but craps. They are a whole load of inhumane creatures. I feel that the treatment they give to foreigners who come here to work is really disgusting. These Myanmar girls knew before the start that coming to Singapore to work wont be an easy thing to do. However, they took up the offer simply because they need to send back their hard-earned money back to their hometown. They got to do lots of additional work that was not written in the contract at all, they were underpaid but the employer totally disregarded their countless efforts. The agreement of having 10 days annual leave was striked off in the end simply because they are here to work and not to play. This remark makes me even more pissed with the company and the way they handle things. Was talking to my friend yesterday, and she's in this situation now. Through this conversation I had with her, I felt that Singaporeans are not that cultured anymore as compared to before. See how they treat foreigners and you will know. I guessed people tend to treat you according to your background. Like the way you speak, dress and look.

Chill up

2006-10-13T00:09:00.000-07:00

Little surprises here and there just makes me go wild...maybe not to the extent that I'll start doing silly stuffs but yeah, being a happy cow. I'm enjoying every bit of what life can bring...even though I'm way behind time in getting a good job and settling down in the working society.

Last Saturday was spent at Seamas' 21st birthday party. Yeah, that's him above...the guy who never fails to make me laugh in Secondary school...the guy who never fails to liven up the atmosphere of the class. I was kind of excited when my good friend 'A' said that he would accompany me to the chalet upon telling him that I don't have any idea where it was. However, due to unforseen circumstances, I went there alone in the end. I was glad that I met Li En at Pasir Ris Mrt station and we went in to Aloha together. Before that I was just whinning to my friends that I don't know the way in and I'll definitely get lost if I were to go in on my own.

I am thankful that boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places (Psalm 16:6). Sometimes, due to human desires, we tend to cross over these boundary lines that in actual fact leads to so much displeasures and dangers. I'm glad that God reminded me of Hs promise once again.

My sis and I were just comparing between the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians of our times. Here they are.
Here's the characteristics of Ah Bengs....
1. use gell on hair until we don't see any fringe
2. wear bell bottom pants till they literally sweep the floor.
3. For those who want to leave a fringe on themselves, their hair would be long and fringe would resemble a mop
4. shirts are tucked out
5. wear metal chains
6. poke axe brand inhaler into their nose, 'pretending' that they have a cold
7. grow long finger nails, especially the little finger
8. leave a pleated 'tail' sticking out of their sometimes neatly cut hair
9. switching on their handphones to super loud SMS 'special' ringtone
10. hane bright dazzling lights that 'absorb' radiation stuck on their handphones
11. Have lots of neoprints with 'buddies'
12. carry long wallets and have sharp edged combs

Here are the characteristics of Ah Lians...
1. Grow 2 strands of fringe that stream down the side of their faces
2. put on hairband that don't seem to be helping push up the hair
3. put on super thick make up
4. have more than 1 earholes per ear, the more the better
5. tuck in school uniform very tightly in
6. fold the waistline of school skirts up till it's very short
7. wear long socks
8. likes bright red assessories
9. wear tight elmo and cookie monster t-shirts
10. bell bottom pants and halter neck and toga blouses

Where have all the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians gone to?

Dancing in the rain

2006-09-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

It's already 2:09 in the morning and I'm still unable to sleep. Have been tossing on my bed for the last one hour. In those days when I could not sleep, I'll start counting sheeps, hoping that I would soon be in dreamland. Just now, I tried it again and oh, it seemed that counting sheeps doesn't work for me anymore, or perhaps just for today. Maybe I miss the gals too much, Maybe it's the cartel we had for dinner just now, maybe it's the long walk from Orchard to Esplanade that made me feel so energised now, maybe it's the gastric juices that's affecting my digestive system, maybe it's PMS, maybe it's the conversation we had at that red cosy sofa, maybe it's the quality time we had together, maybe it's the mission that you will be accomplishing for me, or maybe it's just something else which I can't express on this blog.

Sometimes when things happen, you can't help but laugh at it, thinking that it might well be a joke, never realising that anytime soon, you will start laughing at yourself or rather blaming yourself for things that should have happened but is not happening at present.

In your mighty hands

2006-09-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks or so has been perhaps one of the most trying periods for my family. A simple piles operation that my dad had undergone has caused much complications that he had no choice but to have another operation. We were really angry cos the first surgeon did not do a good job for my dad. There was no follow-up done...nothing at all. It's all out of pure negligence that this has to happen.

After his first operation, we were all so worried cos he was unable to urinate. His stomach was bloated like a pregnant woman. After much prayer, he finally passed out some urine. We thought that everything was back to normal since he was able to urinate. However, the following 7 days were horrible. There was pain at his affected area. After the 7th day, he was happy that he actually passed out blood cos to him, he perceived the blood as a post- operative symptom. But we became too worried when he started to go to the toilet every 1 hour. And whenever he stands, blood would flow. When my dad showed me the amount of blood, I was shocked. The toilet bowl was filled with pools of blood. It's at least 5 times worst as compared to menstruation. Worried strickened, we called the ambulance and immediately rush him to Mount Elizabeth. We decided that perhaps he should not go back to the same old doctor in NUH. Aunty Stephanie was really nice. She called her doctor-friend to see to my dad. That night, on sat, he was admitted. He slept through the night without any excretion of blood. On sun, 10 minutes after my mum stepped into the house, we received a call from my dad. He did not say anything but requested my mum to go to the hospital immediately. He sounded really depressed. Sis and I felt that something was not right, so all my siblings tagged along. Before our eyes, he signed the operation form. He was afraid and was shivering. The reason why he went for another surgery was because after my mum left the hospital, he went to the toilet and passed out 3 bowls of blood. At that moment, he felt faint and vision was blurred. He was given blood transfusion immediately. The doctor was really assuring and encouraging. He told us that everything will be fine after the operation. The 1 hour long operation seemed like eternity. After the operation, when my dad was wheeled out of the operation theatre, he was groaning in pain and calling for help. It's saddening to see people close to you suffering and all you want to do is to help him but you just can't. The whole night he was crying for help, and he was asking us to keep praying for him.

Sitting beside his bed, I questioned the Lord like how Job questioned God. I asked the Lord why my dad has to go through the operation this way? why wasn't the first operation a successful one? Why must bad things happen to good people? Lord, do you really like to see your child suffer? I felt that it was so hard to trust God. Yeah, as one of the song lyrics state...God is too good to be mistaken, God is too wise to be unkind. When you experience trials, do you actually believe in this promise? That God is all so loving, so pure and so kind? But as I was doing my QT, God revealed to me that He is in control. Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." It is not wrong to question God but perhaps, when things have been entrusted to Him, we should practice simple faith in whom we believe. My dad was right. He was telling me and some of his friends how important health is and how relationship is just as important. He mentioned too that if you have everything in the world- a successful career, lots of cash...but do not cherish your health and people that are dear to you, what's life then? At the end of the day, it zooms down to 'relationships' and the many lives that you want to impact on this earth.

The joy of the Lord is my strength

2006-09-15T23:51:00.000-07:00

I think I'll be dead during my birthday celebration cos Sharon Ng's gonna sabo me back. Thankfully, my parents will be there so I doubt she can accomplish her mission. Haha! Most of my friends have turned 21 or are going to turn 21 soon. To some, turning 21 is simply a key to adulthood, where you behave like an adult, you think and act like an adult. In simple terms, you are no longer a child and there must be a sense of maturity. There's also freedom of choice cos turning 21 embarks the start of life's jouney where you have to make major and wise decisions. Every decision we make will result in consequences that will stay on with us for the rest of our lives. Freedom of choice could also means saying 'NO' to something which you feel is rightfully wrong. To add, the liberty to want to be contented in any circumstances is also indeed admirable.

Working can be really tiring at times especially when I have to travel from schools to schools everyday to audit their canteens. I'll just feel so drained, not having the energy to do anything. And talking about BAG, I've not even started Week 1. On my way back home after cell group, I told the Lord that I am going to renew my covenant with Him. And I'm not going to take tiredness as an escape route to spending time with my God. The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Thus far, He has led me and will continue to lead!

In Your strength will I break through Lord!

Through the storm I will hold on Lord!

And by faith I will walk on Lord!

I'm so thankful I found you

2006-09-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

A wonderful gathering

2006-09-06T10:15:00.001-07:00

Studying- working days

2006-09-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm back to the studying days where I had to do research and work on projects, just that now I'm working. It's all about meeting deadlines because I've been granted a job in this company called Eat Wise Pte Ltd. After months of waiting, I'm glad with what I have now...A permanent job that I believe I will be committed to. I'll be doing things like conducting talks for the community, doing cooking demostrations, writing nutrition articles, visiting nursing homes and children homes, plan programs and interventions, and going to schools to conduct audits and promote health. Fun Fun and more Fun. I'm loving it. Thank you Lord. The days at Deutsche bank was great too cos I really did learn alot of things though I made silly mistakes.

I'm not too sure how on earth I'm going to manage my time from now on. Yesterday, I wrote an article on 'Eating Wisely'. And goodness, it took me 1 whole day to complete it. I really don't have the time. And now I'm stuck with something more challenging. A talk that I have to give to people working in NEA on Tuesday. The worst thing is that I must present it in Chinese. Goodness. I have no idea how I'm going to survive for that one and a half hour session. Thankfully, my ex-tutor was so accommodating in helping me. I guess I have to buck up on my Chinese. It's time to start watching news in Chinese, reading chinese newspaper and speaking proper chinese. Oh Lord, You are the God of all languages, You are the God of Chinese. Please help me.

Sunny days are but a joy

2006-08-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday's message on Missions really spoke deep into my heart...I felt God was again affirming me in the area of service to Him. How can it be? Me going on missions? In the past, when it comes to evangelism, I would be one of the last few who would stand up and respond...I was that resistant towards missions. I'm really thankful for the 40 days of prayer cos God really did breathe His living words in me, leading me to pray for East Timor. Somehow, I felt the burden to care and love the Timonese. And then, there was the message by Sister Lai Kheng where she challenges us to bless others since we are so blessed in Singapore. As the short video was screened, I teared just as I saw many others around me wiping away their tears of love, some others holding back their tears, while some did not cry but whispered to themselves saying...'aiyo, so poor thing!' Compassionate people aren't they? =) I think God gives us emotions and feelings for a purpose. To feel for the poor, the sick and needy is indeed a gift from the Lord.

"People need the Lord, People need the Lord
At the end of a broken dream
He's the open door
People need the Lord, People need the Lord
When will we realise
That we must give our lives
For people need the Lord"

Jiawen's birthday party was really another blast! Many people attended. Well, cos I was late...(Not as usual ok, Sharon), there was barely any food left. I enjoyed myself cos we got to bitch around again in our groups...oops. Bitching once in a while is healthy cos it relaxes the mind. It helps us to unwind after a stressful day.

And yes, I enjoyed 'Ruth's Obsession week'. The week where we met up quite a number of times...first it was at our mentor's house, then it was the time with Bess at Fish & Co , her birthday party at her house and a birthday celebration in church. I'm starting to miss Ruth...feel so weird not seeing her on Sundays.

Oh, and there was the night out with Wanjun. Walking from Cityhall to Boat Quay was super fun, though our legs were hurting. Going out with this girl always makes my day cos she can really make me laugh and just be myself.

I'm thankful that Macy and I got a chance to meet for lunch since our workplace are so near from each other. Her zest for God is super contagious.

I'm thankful too that Alex and I do still keep in contact after all these years. I missed those crazy years in secondary school doing stupid stuffs together...like getting the same bag, avoiding each other in school but talk to each other on the phone at night, giving him a time that he can call or else I won't pick up the phone, playing pranks on people, how we got caught by the discipline mistress...those are the days of long ago.

Interviews after interviews but to no avail. I was dissappointed with myself yesterday. It's tough not because you are not selected for the job but because you feel the job doesn't suit you and so you made up your mind to let it go. I felt like a complete loser after wanting to succeed and get through the interview. I felt that I was wasting my time and effort preparing. I was down. And today as I was doing my QT, God told me that the things that he brought me through will not be put to waste. I see nothing but He sees something. He sees the bigger picture, He knows what's best for my life. If there's a God who loves me that much, that unconditional, why should I continue to lament? Shouldn't I rejoice in Him? Yes I should.

Falling over in love with you again

2006-08-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

The eduacation system is getting from bad to worse nowadays. Kids in Primary 1 can already feel the stress in schools...what more about people who are taking their PSLE, 'O' Levels, 'A' Levels and what not? It's really madness. A good example would be what happened today. My brother was told that he would be having an interview with a secondary school. So for the whole of yesterday night, my sis and I actually prepared him for the interview skills, like reminding him of being polite to the interviewers, to be himself and to create a good and lasting impression. To add, we also taught him how to answer some common questions like 'Tell me about yourself' and 'What are your strengths and weaknesses'. But the reality was that there was no interview at all in the end. He was put to two tests, the practical test where he had to showcase his basketball skills and another, a written test to see if he's good in his academic performance. I can't understand why Singaporeans need to impose stress on themselves. Isn't life itself stressful enough? People in other countries are simply slacking from day to day, and here we are, striving to top the class or to climb up the corporate ladder. Well, perhaps I'm not the sort of person who is ambitious. I feel I need the space to breathe and do the things that I enjoy doing.

I'm enjoying my new job in a bank. The people there are a whole lot of nice people. For now that will be it even though I'm still in search of a full time job. I told myself never to job-hop again but it's really not my fault cos nowadays, most companies provide contract jobs. Oh yes, and today I woke up early to do my hair. The hair stylist told me that doing of curls would only take 2 hours but in the end, my butt was stucked to that chair for 5 solid hours. Stomach was making noise, bladder was bursting and time was running out. I was late for the New Creation Church's service. Thank God I managed to reach on time. The worship and the sermon were really ministering. The pastor said something like 'God doesn't look at your ability, God looks at your availability'. Indeed this sentence is so true. We tend to see ourselves as being inadequate for service to others at times, but what God wants is simply two hands and one heart, saying YES to the place or the people or even the ministry that He wants us to reach out to. Wherever God puts you, He has chosen you to be the voice of influence in that marketplace.

Following, Jean, Aaron and I went to catch the fireworks. It was really fun cutting people's path just to get a closer view at the fireworks. It was indeed a night of great wonders. Looking up at the skies when the fireworks were displayed has once again allowed me to marvel at God's wonderful creation. Awesome fireworks!

My inspiration

2006-08-06T06:25:00.000-07:00

I miss this friend of mine to bits. Yes you, Atthakorn Sae Khu (Bon)

For such a time like this

2006-08-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

San's 21st birthday party was indeed a blast. What's interesting was that her party was held at her church friend's place. And when I reached there, my first reaction was 'WOW!' Guess what? The house is super huge. A 5 storey house, with 2 cute dogs, 1 cat, a fish pond, a balcony, where the foods were served and this cosy room where we could just rest and relax. The house is super neat and tidy too. That itself created the setting for a good birthday party. Secondly, the foods were heavenly. Lots and lots of barbecued food just kept coming to our table. Really felt bad that we always got served rather than to serve. =) The beef was so well marinated that I had a craving again the minute I reached home. Thirdly, the birthday party was perfect because of the people that were there. Yes, it's really times like this that makes our bond grow stronger. It was also a good time getting to know San's church friends. Really nice and warm people who will just make you feel comfortable. What impacted me most of all was the time spent together at the cosy room I was talking about earlier. We sat down in a circle and went round sharing all the good things about San. I truely thank God for this siter-in-christ who stood by me all these while especially during poly days. Her words of encouragement and her undying passion for God do put me to shame at times. But then, I want to emulate her examples and I do want to grow more in love with the Lord. I guessed God spoke to me again and again, even on that day to live and to leave a godly legacy. Well, in the sense to impact the lives of others now for eternity. The question is 'What do you want people to remember you for when you leave this earth?' Perhaps everything starts now. It's in the way you speak and react that will impact others. People are observing and we as christians should not fail the test.

I'm gonna miss people like Jacelyn, for which both of us had so much of fun and laughter at Expressions. At how we always got scolded for not listening to instructions, at how we rebel against some people. And for Jason...I'm gonna miss his teasing and his lameness and all of his sound advise.

And yes, I quitted my job immediately yesterday. I don't know if I should be happy about it or start blaming myself for being too rash about it. There's really lots of factors that made me want to quit in the first place but I told myself not to give up too easily. But somehow, it reached a point where I could not take it anymore and decided that the best solution was for me to leave. It came as a big shock to my colleagues cos they knew how enthusiastic I was in looking forward to the opening of the kilosuite. I really thank God cos the minute I tendered my resignation, almost instantly, I received a call from my aunt, asking me if I could help up at her office. I agreed cos the pay is good, the environment is good and the best thing is that it's a monday to friday kind of job. But hey, I would still want to work in the nutrition field, I would still want to get a degree but I don't know when will be the time. Just got to continue praying and sense the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Met up with Jean to do threading at Little India. I'm in love with the place. I'm amazed at how a thread could shape our eyebrows. From now on, I'll just go there for my threading session. It's not at all painful as compared to plucking of eyebrows.

Lakehouse was not that nice after all. The storyline was kind of complicated. It about two person living in the past and the present, and how they met eventually. When my friends told me that lakehouse was nice, I pictured it as an extremely remantic movie that will just make you tear throughout the whole session.

Jesus, be the center

2006-07-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, we really have to step out of our comfort zone and begin to make things happen. It's really hard cos sometimes you send the wrong signal and before you know it, everything is in a mess. Perhaps, lots of courage is required in the need to strive for more. I do believe that we should not compromise in things that we feel are uncertain about. Yes, I admit that I used to compromise in certain issues, not knowing that there's actually a dangerous pit before me. And there was I, in the pithole, struggling to get on my feet again and wanting to see a glimpse of what seems perfect and beautiful. In the light of it all, I survived. I have learnt the painful story and I told myself that I will never allow history to repeat itself ever again. Miracles do happen and sometimes we just have to believe it before it would ever come to you in total amazement. And there we will be, in wide arms open, embracing life as what it seems, having the hope to move on in life because of that speacial thing.

Lord, I want to know you more each day!

Be hopeful

2006-07-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

My dear friend,
I hope you can pick yourself up again. Thanks for being so honest with me, sharing with me what's seems so close to your heart. My dear friend, when things fail, remember that God never fails. Continue to be hopeful in all things.
Trust His heart=)

When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart

2006-07-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

Trust His Heart

Cynthia Clausen

All things work for our good
though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
and you just can't see Him,
Remember He's still on the throne.

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,trust His heart.

He sees the Master plan.
He holds the future in His hands.
So don't live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
but He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry,
He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him.

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,trust His heart.

How do I ?

2006-07-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

Attended Li Liang and Elaine's wedding yesterday. It was really a great feeling to witness 2 individuals coming together, wanting to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Yeah, a very very sweet couple indeed. You know, somethings are just meant to be...just like Li Liang and Elaine...yeah, they are indeed meant for each other. I think there's really so many things that must be taken into consideration before marriage. Like the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, a stable career, the number of children you want to have, money, a house, and most importantly, parent's and God's approval. Seeing how happy this couple was yesterday really made us want to get married too at that very moment. And so there we were, talking about our future plans...like how we want our wedding day to be, the background music we are going to choose, the church we are going to use for our wedding service, and who's gonna be our bridesmaid and stuff. Really interesting and exciting. I guess when we attend another person's wedding, we will start talking about all these again.

I've not been that pleased with my work performances at all. I'm starting to wallow myself in self- pity all over again. I just hate the job cos of the unfair treatment that we have to suffer. Sometimes, the feeling just sucks. On one hand, you want to be passionate about what you are doing, but on the other hand, you are hindered by circumstances. And there you go, getting demoralise about life.

Went to Wanjun's house to borrow dresses from her again. She really have lots of pretty dresses. Then we had a girl talk which was rather meaningful.

I'm thankful for having such a wonderful colleague like jacelyn. It's fun working with her cos we will just amuse each other with our silly actions...like how we spilled 5 gallons of water on the floor and got scolded. And like how we made so much noise at our workplace and laughing like it's no other people's business. I'm gonna miss her.

The NDP preview was too great that if I am given another ticket, I would go without hestitation. The fireworks were awesome, and because Felix (my primary 6 monitor) had a part to play in the display of the fireworks that day, the entire parade was eventful. It was the first time I see him in his army uniform...hee.

Trust His Heart

2006-07-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

I'm really pissed off with my work this week. Perhaps I'm really not used to working in a female environment. What one of my friend said was right. He mentioned that when girls say 1, it means 2. When girls say 2, it means 3. Girls like to twist and turn situations around. I'm a girl and I should be defending myself rather than saying all these. Well, but I have to admit that all girls including myself are complicated creatures. Working with guys in any company would definitely be a far better choice cos they help neutralise the bitchy sides of girls. 'Sickening' is the word used to describe what I'm feeling now. I mean...yeah...I'm very disgusted by what had happened this few days. All the blames were pushed to me for bloody reasons even though it was not my fault at all. Oh, so you call this justice? I'm just hoping that justice can prevail. Perhaps, through it all, I've grown to be someone stronger...someone who is able to stand up for what's right and stick to my principles. I guessed that's the most important thing at the end of the day that if my conscience is right before God and myself, why should I care what others say? God, you be my strength cos I can't handle it alone. Sad things aside...

The weekend was spent at Aloysius' birthday party. It was really great catching up with Jac, Weng chun (Mr Crappy), Ying Zhao and Aloysius. I can't wait to upload that picture we took that day.

Felix caught my surprise when he told me that he is giving me his NDP tickets for tomorrow's prevail. I'm so excited because it's been about 4 years since I last went.

Give me one more time

2006-06-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

As I was doing my QT on my way to work yesterday morning, somehow God was revealing to me of how selfish I have been for the past 1 year or so. I have no idea how this selfishness has been so part of me all this while. I paused and pondered on this verse. And as I read it over and over again, I told the Lord to take away ALL my selfish behaviours, my selfish thoughts and actions. I don't want to be robbed by this ugly side of being selfish again.

Philippians 2: 3-4
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.''

I really missed working in Macdonald house cos I get to learn alot of things over there. But well, I'm just as thankful cos the present outlet I'm working on right now doesn't operate on sundays, which means that I can get to go church again. I'm madly in love with my present workplace cos firstly, the people are nice and secondly, I'm surrounded with lots of good foods. Oh, and I seriously can't wait for my pay to come...Yesh, 3 more days!

Dinner with Ruiqin and yenru was really fun that day cos we had lots to catch up, never did we stop talking. And as I looked back, I'm once again amazed at how our friendship has been growing over the years. Another friend that I cherish alot is Chai Yun. A really crappy and fun- loving person. Although we always claim that we have different personalities, we are still able to relate well with each other. Thanks for talking sense to me yesterday. I really appreciate it.

I'm looking forward to Thursday cos it's my off day. Yahooo!!!!!!! I'll start the day with shopping, then to sgh for something important, meeting wanjun, facial, and then off to meet my poly friends. This saturday is Aloysius' birthday party and I've yet to buy something for him.

I thanked God that my rashes has been healed completely and I don't have to go through the light- therapy again. It's really scary when you enter a box with 40 rays shinning on you. You just don't know what that big machine might do to you any minute. I'm grateful for my mum who never failed to accompany me into that treatment room. If not for her, I'll be doing all this alone and it will simply just freak me out.

A day to rejoice

2006-06-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

Three years of poly life have passed so quickly and just 2 days back was my graduation ceremony. I think everyone in that hall ought to rejoice and feel proud of themselves for all the hard work they have put in over the past years. The time and effort that we give into project work, term test, exams especially when it comes to memorising all the bacterias and disease names. Oh yes, it's over. Looking back, I smiled. I smiled because I know that I've achieved something- a diploma. And I'm glad that 3 years back before I was deciding which school to go, I did not leave out poly as my choice. I've really benefitted alot, really. I guessed poly life has trained me to be independent, to be decisive and to be tolerant. I grateful to God for making everything possible. The graduation ceremony started off with a speech from the director. I liked the way in which she puts her message across. She told us to be confident in the things we do because confidence will enable us to soar to greater heights especially when work is concern. Also, creativity is now the key to success and we must dare to be different.

I felt a sense of glory when I walked past the red carpet the minute my name was called. And I was glad because I felt that God was also one of the audience sitting in the auditorium cheering for me.

These are the few of the many pictures that I took that day. Too lazy to upload the rest. The lightings are really dim.

Oh yes, my dear friend Ying Ci is back. Wanted to have a look at his long hair but he cut it.

I'm glad too cos my leave for church camp was approved 3 days back. I thought I couldn't go but God intervened and helped me. My superior encouraged me to go because she told me that she herself has benefitted much from church camps. I couldn't believe my eyes when she told me that cos I've just started work not long, and here I am, wanting to take leave for 5 days.

I'm happy cos I bought a top for myself at bugis village yesterday. They do have super cheap stuffs over there and everything is simply too eye- catching.

I'm not ready for something great=) but for now...

Integrity

2006-05-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how can one say one thing and mean another the next minute. Looks are deceiving. People can look demure, sincere and trustworthy. Well, that's just an act. After getting to know them a little more, they are in fact viscious and cunning. So obviously, these people do not have a sense of intergrity at all. Lesson learnt...DON'T TRUST ANYONE IN THE WORLD.

Work has been quite tough even though its only the first week. After talking to some wise people, I told myself that I'm going to be optimistic towards my work from today onwards and yes, I really was just now. I think God place us in a certain workplace for a purpose. I know God is able to see me through. At the same time, I guess I'm going to miss out on lots of things from now on...

I always do weird, stupid and funny things with Jun...but I enjoy it cos doing this type of things make us feel like we are still a child once again. A young adult that doesn't want to grow up. Thank you gal for your company.

Divine exchange

2006-05-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

Today, I had loads of fun meeting up with my friends. It's the first time yesterday that I got to dine in at Spagedies. I think the ambience is really very cool, with dim lightings and cosy sofas. As I have been craving for pizza all along, I decided that I should satisfy this longing of having to indulge in one. This seafood pizza tasted heavenly. With mussels, scallops, sotongs, big prawns, mushrooms, clams. Never did I expect the portion to be soooo big. And yes, as usual, I couldn't finish it.

Since mum and dad had to attend a dinner, we could not celebrate my brother's birthday as a family. So, my sis and I decided to bring him out. Ended up at Sizzler. I told my sis that I'm not going to eat much but unknowingly, I had 6 servings of food. I kept gorging myself with lots of food even though I felt the need to stop. Goodness, buffet doesn't help at all. It makes people like me want to eat more. I'm filled with guilt right now.

I enjoyed the Quiet Time I had with Ruth at Bedok Reservoir a few days back. Sometimes its good to be just caught up in nature and allow nature to speak itself.

I'm indeed thankful to God for granting me a job. I'm just going to take one step at a time and not rush into things.

Don't go unfinished

2006-05-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

J: Thanks for your time today.

Take the rod

2006-05-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

'When the heart waits' is a book that has so many truths in it. The author wrote about how we as human have lots of masks, different masks that suit different situations, leading to false self. And it goes on to say of how much it would hurt us if we are to run away from our problems by putting a false front instead of facing the truth boldly. False self is not what God wants. What He yearns for is for us to portray our true self even if it means 'ugly'. Why should we then accept our true self? Because we are created in God's image and His likeness. We are told to accept our true self as it is the very first image and likeness that God wants us to display. I began to put much thoughts and reasonings into this truth. Somehow, I felt that God was leading me to a period of self- actualisation. And I'm glad. Because God has brought people into my midst for me to share His goodness.

Met up with San and Sharon at tp for lunch yesterday. I really missed the western food at design school and I was so happy when I got to eat it again. We tasted San's very own ice- cream. Not too bad I would say. And there we were, slacking and making lots of noise in the Food Pilot Plant laboratory. It was fun talking about how we want our lives to be in the future. And we came up with this.

- Meet up for high- tea sessions
- Life at the beach
- Mahjong sessions
- Manicure
- Shopping!

I mean yeah, a tai- tai life. We are simply day- dreaming...haha. But these are the things that really excite us.

The baking session with Ruth was so fun. Went to her house to make cheese cake. I would grade it 9/10. It just tasted so heavenly.

And the shopping I had with Yenru was good. Although we did not really buy anything, we had some heart- to- heart talk.

Hope it doesn't rain tomorrow cos I need the tann.

I have to make a decision in 4 hours time. Oh Lord, you lead me.

Missed

2006-05-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

I think nature has its own way of speaking to me. Just by looking at the beach, the trees, the peacock, the sands makes me stand in awe of God's creation. Sometimes, what we all need is to have a break from our mundane and hectic life and simply spend that time with friends, and even finding ourself again. I'm glad I had a wonderful tann at sentosa just now. Realised that I'm kind of burnt right now. So sad, Stella was not able to join us.

Who doesn't want a simple life? I guessed everyone yearns for it in one way or another. A life where we don't have to face any competition, a life that strives to do things out of our own interest rather than the sick of doing it, a life that is slow, a life that has solutions to problems, a life...a life...the list goes on. I think this type of life is so hard to come by nowadays. Sometimes I really wish that I was born in another country where the standard of living is not so high. Then I wouldn't care about education and working at all. Maybe, perhaps, 'simple life' still exists. It's a matter of whether we want to follow the world standards or just listen and follow our heart.

You know, I've held on to a baton that is not mine at all. I don't understand why this baton has been so dear to me till now.

Love Language

2006-04-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

The Five Love Languages
Your primary love language is probably Quality Time with a secondary love language being Acts of Service.

Complete set of results
Quality Time:

8
Acts of Service:

7
Receiving Gifts:

7
Words of Affirmation:

6
Physical Touch:

2

Choose to be happy

2006-04-25T03:50:00.000-07:00

I happened to be reading Our Daily Bread afew days back when I was caught by a phrase, 'Choose to be happy'. I think all of us can choose to be happy despite the circumstances that befall before us. And when we set our minds on the bright side of life rather than the dull side, we begin to taste and see for ourself the beauty of creation. It's good to be happy because even in Philippians, it says 'Rejoice in the Lord, I will say it again, Rejoice.' Yes,we can choose to rejoice when we know that every new day is a gift from God. And so all the more, we should welcome each day with great expectations and a desire to live up each day for the Lord.

This week started off pretty well cos I was called down for afew interviews. But hey, I'm still jobless. Yesterday, Shuyi and I went Tampines Mall to slack the whole afternoon. Yup, just to slack and waste our time away. I think I should start doing some constructive stuffs soon. At night, met up with Lance, Jonathan and Esther for supper. It was really enjoyable catching up with my secondary school friends and challenging one another on our faith. It was quite funny when Jonathan said that we should start a business together.

Jon: Hey, we can set up a business together...
Esther: What business?
Eve: What business?
Jon: Anything...
Esther and Eve: *giggles*
Eve: Anything? you mean food industry or NOKIA?
Jon: We can be partners...why not we meet up one day to discuss?
Eve: Hey, its not that easy...we need capital.
Esther: And resources
Jon: we can start with $500...start low
Jon: ok can can...draw up proposal?
Eve: Why not u set up the business first then we join you?
Esther and Eve: Yeah yeah!!!Good idea...haha
Lance: haha

My love for Sentosa is back. Sentosa, here I come...on Friday and next Tuesday.

Don't mess with a woman...uh huh

2006-04-21T05:16:00.000-07:00

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God.

When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.

This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

That's where I belong

2006-04-17T06:57:00.000-07:00

When food comes into the picture, my entire mood changes, provided it doesn't clash with the time that I'm on diet. There were last minute changes. So instead of going to Marina Bay for our steamboat session, we headed down to Kenny Rogers'. It's my all time favourite. I simply love the side dishes and the roasted wings...Somehow, I don't get sick of eating the same old food over and over again because dining in just brings back many wonderful memories. Lalala...

Attitude Style Fashion

2006-04-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

I was so at peace with myself when I finally made that decision to come out of the job. I feel that there is no point for me to carry on if the work tempts me to sin even more and break the Father's heart. I'm glad that God has been beside me all along, sending people into my midst to affirm me of the choice I made. We should always put God into the picture in whatever we do so that our thoughts, speeches and acations will be centered on Him. This journey has brought me a step closer to God. Reading the book of proverbs has indeed given me greater insights about wisdom and discernment. Indeed wisdom is supreme!

The week has ended well. Yesterday, I headed down to meet my poly friends to celebrate liying's birthday. Went to NYDC to have our lunch followed by some shopping. I'm in love with Marina Square. And I think it's one of the best shopping malls in Singapore. Orchard is lagging big time. Hey!!! I'm so excited for the malaysia trip we are going to have. We are already in the midst of planning.

Following, went to lakeside for some prawning and fishing session. We have hidden talents don't we? 10 minutes before time was up, we caught a seabass. Wahaha!

Let me be a shining light for you

2006-04-10T12:22:00.000-07:00

So many things happened in a day. It's really tough being in a hotel line. People usually say that if you are interested in a job, you will most likely stay on. I beg to differ. This is because there are so many factors that will affect your work performances rather than just interest alone. Take for example, the people. Yes, the colleagues I've met are nice people. But I get to see the ugly side of people too when work comes into the picture. I was not briefed on anything which means that I am unaware of what's going to happen, and the next moment, I was told to be at the lobby floor. You know how scary it can be when you are being thrown into this? Totally oblivious to everything. Because of this I got scolded by one staff. I think that particular staff hates me for don't know what reason. She keeps picking on me for no reason. I'll not go into that..but people are just faking to be nice at times or rather most of the time. Well, but on the whole, the people are nice and friendly. It seems so easy to get along with them. I'm thankful for such people cos they cheered me up when I was on the verge of breaking down. I felt terrible when that staff scolded me infront of customers. But these people were the ones that were so supportive of me and always guiding me gently. Just that one colleague spolit my day.

Harrassment is one of the major issues that people in hotels face. I don't know, but for me, I'll feel quite disturbed when customers just stare at you thinking that you are a sex object. To add, customers should not harrass us verbally too.

The drinks are really heavy. My arms are really all cramped now. And I was so careless that I spilled a drink infront of my superior. Mann!!!

Being in the hotel lounge is not just about serving but its about entertaining too. And I can't bring myself to entertain clients just now. Because I've observed for myself as to how some related to customers. They would simply go near to the customers, whisper into their ears, and verbally flirt with them. Ok, I should not be talking bad about people. But at the end of the day, I began to question myself if I'm really suited for this job. I'm interested in this job. But just as I'm interested, I'm also willing to give it up because there's simply too many things that's against my principles and against God. This is an environment that is so prone to temptations. It's only my first day of work and I'm being exposed to all these...Learning the art of flirting and seducing people? Learning to walk in a sexy manner and reveal to customers our assets? I don't think its God- glorifying at all.

I'll see how it goes this week and I'll come up with a decision.

So does interest means that you will stay on in a job? My answer is no.

Doors

2006-04-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

I had a question that has been clouding my mind.
I thought I would be able to derive an answer to that question.
On Sunday, I carried that question to church.

"Would God close the door that has been opened?"

To me, an open door would mean an open door, or else why doesn't God close it in the first place and vice versa.
I felt I needed an answer at that moment. And God sent my mentor.

She told me that God may have opened up the doors for me, but the main door will be closed. She added on to say that sometimes its not God that opens the door, but its the devil...Yes, the little devil in us that goes against the will on God. So God will open that door to test our hearts, and after testing, He will then close the door.

I was so reluctant to surrender to God yesterday when Aunty Muifong asked me to leave it all up to Him. I knew her words were the very words of God when she prayed for me the minute I agreed to entrust into His hands. The tears that fell brought healing to my soul and I felt completely restored. Its in His presence that I've been humbled and its times like this that allows me to acknowledge His everlasting grace and mercy once again. Thank you Lord!

=Her encouraging words=

1) God never fails me

2) Obedience

3) My will being in tune with God's will

4) I don't have to fear the future

5) God is not a God of Confusion but a God of Peace

6) God has a plan for me

7) Stop complaining

8) Surrender to Him

9) Have faith

10) Wait on Him

So, would God open or close the door for me? I don't know. But I want Him to be the doorman of my life.

Lord reign in me

2006-03-31T18:49:00.000-08:00

I can't control everything in life with my own abilities. I need to recognise this fact. And perhaps, God wants me to realise that I've held on to some things which has taken the rightful place of Him. He's telling me to let them go because He's all I ever need.

A day that is treasured

2006-03-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

Hey! That's Esther. So cute right? She just doesn't want to take a picture of herself. We were kind of mad cos we went to different corners and started posing. A wonderful friend indeed and YES, a friend I don't wanna lose. A friend that will always be close to my heart. Yenru and Felicia kept hiding from the camera, so its always left with the two of us.

The smile on my face will stay forever

2006-03-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

Working in HSBC this time round is a recomfirmation that I'm not called for office job. I just don't like the feeling of being at your own desk and doing the tasks assigned. All we need to do is to complete the tasks given in the shortest time possible. And to me, its madness. I was assigned to do some QC administrative work, which included folding 6600 letters and slotting all of these into the envelopes. It's really driving me nuts because the whole day, I'll just be at my desk doing this. I was supposed to complete it yesterday, but even till today, I have 2000 odd more to finish. It's boring la. Now I know the consequences of slacking on the 1st day of work. Work will just pile up the next day. Thank God Yenru and the guy from the other department came to help me. Although the work was sian, I enjoyed myself too. We were supposed to do OT today. So ya, we did. However, instead of working through the OT period, we spent the time talking. That's so cool right? Simply talking and crapping...time passed so quickly...furthermore get paid 1.5 times more. And of course, as usual, I would go to the pantry to find things to drink...so I was practically wasting my time effectively. I told my colleagues that perhaps they should employ a postman to do this type of job instead of asking people like us to do. Now, it seems that I'm called a postwoman...mann...just for the moment. I think the location of my job has allowed me to go to work with my dad and I'm really grateful for that. I think my dad is a great dad and I'm beginning to appreciate every little bit of him. I sensed too that I'm starting to understand him better in a fresh new way.

I've been thinking of one of my secondary school friend lately. She's called esther. We used to hang out together after school together with yvonne. Yes, we were very closed. But somehow along the way, when we enter into different polytechnics, our friendship drifted apart. It was only yesterday that we started messaging each other again. I'm overjoyed. God really knows my needs. On my way home today, I bumped into her in Bedok and we had a great 3 minutes talk. A 3 minutes talk that means so much to me. Following, we decided that we should meet up...oh yeah! So it will be...tomorrow...gonna ask yenru and barthelomew along too. I wanted to take a day off tomorrow as I was not feeling too well just now but I guess I'll just go because I'm so excited to meet my friends after work.

3 Answered prayers

2006-03-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

I thanked God that during my trying moments upon waiting on the Lord, He has surrounded me with friends who has indeed been an encouragement to me. The waiting was a great challenge to me...in fact a blow...and i felt I could not take it anymore. But I came to terms with myself just afew days back that even if I don't get the job, He has a better job for me. It is through waiting that I find strength in Him. The two weeks of waiting seemed like eternity for me. But when I began to focus on God instead of my issue, I could see His hands at work. An hour ago, my supervisor called and asked me to start work next week. I could not imagine it for once...it caught me by surprise. Am really overjoyed. Thank you Lord.

I attended the YA retreat on Saturday. The message came through to me directly- so personal. I felt I needed a touch from the Lord. At the same time, I'm really thankful for Ruth who has encouraged me to go for the retreat and I'm glad I did. God is able to heal, deliver and restore our brokeness, our hurts and our past. God never fails us! Now, I'm able to face up to reality and not allow my past to affect my future.

I'm thankful for the part- time job at HSBC. Although I don't really fancy office work, at least I get to have a feel of stepping into the office all alone, and adapting myself to the working environment. And I'm thankful for the people I've met.

Come on over baby

2006-03-15T06:51:00.000-08:00

So sweet of Shuyi. She did this for me. Really glad that I've known this friend of mine cos she knows almost all my deepest secrets and even the ugly sides of me. WowWow! I don't know how we became real good friends but somehow we were just able to connect. =) Accompanied her to re- cut her hair cos she was not satisfied with her hair condition...

Sharon offered me a job. I'll be starting work in HSBC tomorrow. It's gonna be a temporary job...yes, its better than not having a job ya??=) And I'll be doing those postage kind of thing.

Talked to barthelomew today on the phone. It's been like what? Ages since we last talked. And mann, he still have this thinking that I'm a blur queen but more matured now. Oh well, but chatting with him was fun because we could simply catch up on where we have left on.

I hope that I can have a beautiful dream tonight and wake up feeling all refreshed.

From the bottom of my heart

2006-03-11T07:24:00.000-08:00

Dinner and Dance yesterday at Crown Prince Hotel was quite a memorable one because I guessed it would be one of the very last times we would be together as a class. It feels just great to be with the company of friends. Everyone's gonna part and go their separate ways. Well, that's life. For some of my friends, they would be going overseas to pursue a degree, for some, to study in a local university and for some, to start working.
Will upload the rest of the pics soon=)

I'm happy cos I did temporary curl for just $15 and the effect really lasted the whole night. Felt a waste if i had to wash my hair, cos washing my hair would mean that it would resume back to my normal hair again. But oh well, I couldn't stand it any longer and decided that I should just practice good personal hygiene. After D & D, we headed down to Rouge for clubbing together with Roy's gang and Pamela's gang. The music was nice. It's those kind of pop music that I would appreciate.

At last, I'm proud to say that I'm now a graduate. Yeah! Received my final semester results yesterday, afew hours before dinner and dance. I felt I could have done better, or rather gotten myself a better grade. Who don't want to strive higher right? But perhaps, they should have moderated the marks cos the papers were difficult.

Nutrition in Disease: C+
Food Service Management: B
Major project: C
Comm Skills 4: B

*********************DaNcInG iN tHe RaIn********************

It's every little thing you do

2006-03-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

I wish I could turn back the time and let you know I will never let you go. I wonder why I could not accept you. So let's part my dear. It's the bond between us that only we can understand and in which the world will never comprehend. It's hard, but what do you feel anyway? Go for what your heart seeks because the door that was once locked can never be open again...Never. Don't treat me too good for I will perceive you like a fool. I appreciate all your sweet little thoughts because you make me feel special and loved. I will leave you in your insolated cabin and I will go back to where I had originated from. And if one day, we pass each other again, I promised I would tell you that I will always be glad being with you. Stupidity got the hold of me in the past. Affected by the negative comments people had about you, I quietly accepted it. But deep within, I know...its the CHEMISTRY that keeps it alive.

Random

2006-03-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

Waited the whole of today for a call but to no avail. Its the waiting that's difficult. Now if given a choice, I would rather have a direct answer, be it a YES or a NO straight to my face. Tough journey! Perhaps God wants me to put my trust in Him and that if its really His will, He will grant me this desire of my heart. But yeah, I'm starting to doubt myself and sometimes to the extent of doubting God. At times I wonder if God would ever even bother.

Headed down to meet Wan Jun at Bedok Interchange. Went to her house because I needed a dress for dinner and dance. And yes, she's the perfect person to go to for girly stuffs like dresses cos she really has great taste. Tried on four dresses and decided that I'll borrow two of her black dresses. Haha, and we exchanged clothes with each other. I gave her a skirt which I couldn't wear and she gave me a jacket.

Oh ya, Bedok do have lots of perverts so be ultra careful when you are there. Tomorrow will be a day of waiting again...perhaps while I'm waiting, I can also think of what I'm going to do with my hair for Friday.

Portrait of a lady

2006-03-06T02:23:00.000-08:00

What becomes a lady most?
It's about class and about substance, things that help to anchor the polish and gleam of style. It's about celebrating the values and mindset required to be a real lady. -Elizabeth Creagh-

All for you

2006-03-05T06:02:00.000-08:00

The mentoring session today at Aunty Muifong place was really interesting. We (Aunty Muifong, Jean, Ting, Ruth and I) got to paint our own easter eggs in really nice colours. Well, my first end product was not at all nice...and I was actually quite sad...haha. But well, I got a chance to do the second one. At least it was much better. I'm really thankful for such a great group of friends for whom we can hold one another accountable. And it is really in this group that I've really benefitted alot. Its a time that I could really let my hairs down and be really transparent for who I really am. Not saying that I'm always putting a false front, but rather, this is a time where I could share my struggles in life and still not feel embarrass about it. We are still human beings afterall. And its because there are people who care, so that's why I wouldn't mind sharing. What amazed me most is the work that God has done in each of our lives everytime we meet as a group. It is through times like this that makes me marvel at God's unconditional love for us. Praying for one another was also something good because it allows us to also consider others and not to be so inward- looking. How great it would be if we could just hold one another accountable for the rest of our lives, and to really uphold one another in good and bad times.

Am definitely looking forward to the cooking sessions with you people...make it a deal=)

Perfect identity

2006-03-02T06:51:00.000-08:00

Big Momma's house 2 was really worth the $8. I never felt so happy watching a movie show until I watched this. Martin Lawrence was like damm cool, even though he posed like a fat woman in the show. He's so so 'sexy'...so eye- catching. Had a great time catching up with Jun just now...I have been going out almost everyday even though I don't have the money. Well, I hate staying at home...it will just bored me to death. I'll just be on my bed all day long and keep on day dreaming...end result...Purposeless.

What tires me most was the endless interviews I had to attend at Ritz Carlton. They gave me another post. I've gone through 5 interviews with them already and if everything goes well during the 6th interview next week, I would be able to work soon. Well, that's really scary...cos I've been praying...and somehow I'll be very sad if I won't be able to get through the last round because lots of effort has been put in it...I did research on lots of stuffs...but I also need to bravely accept the fact if I'm not chosen. This is really a troubling issue and I'll just continue to entrust this whole issue to the one up there.

The 3 pieces of sushi has caused me to have this horrible cough...its really so irritating that I wanna use a sandpaper to sooth my throat. Arrhh!!!!!!

Say a little prayer

2006-03-01T06:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord,
Help me to trust in you when my future seems uncertain.
Help me to realise that my plans are not your plans, and my ways are not your ways.
Help me to know that you are the real boss and that in you I lack nothing.
Help me to rest in your unfailing love and continue to place my hopes on you alone.
Help me to find peace in you rather than the world could ever give.
Help me to understand that its not about me but its about you.
Grant me Lord the courage to accept the things I cannot change.
Grant me Lord the strength to accept reality.
It's you Lord that holds the bigger picture.
As I lay my request and my plea, if its your will Lord, let it be done.
Thank you Jesus!
Amen

It's 12:29am now and I'm going to sleep

2006-02-25T08:13:00.000-08:00

I've been sick for almost the whole day and my mum thinks that its because I don't help up in the housework, that's why I'm experiencing this type of unnecessary nonsence. Ha, I beg to differ. Its the weather that's causing all this la.

Went back to school to return my overdue library book. Did not even realise that I was still holding on to this book until the library notified me. How blur can I be.

Went to Suntec city to meet my peeps for dinner. End up eating Pasta Mania in the end cos we were already so sick of Marche. Really enjoyed the time together, just chatting and updating on one another's life. And I can simply be myself when I'm with them because they have been the ones who stays by me through thick and thin. Following, we hanged around starbucks where we talked lots of silly stuffs and laughed at one another. I love this life!

Sharon and Dennis were at Balaclava too. Had a chance to talk to her and him. But hey, I think he thinks I'm chi-na...talked to me in chinese...

Beautiful sunshines

2006-02-24T20:28:00.000-08:00

The girl has it all

2006-02-24T07:41:00.000-08:00

I had one of the best sleep ever in my life yesterday night. A sleep that was so sound with not a single worry embedded in it. A sleep that comprised of sweet dreams was indeed wonderfully defined. How I wish that everyday could be like yesterday night, where people would just lie in bed, not bringing their stress into their sleeps as well, and simply just enjoy the moments of sleeping. But sad to speak, that's not the case here in Singapore. Everyone is definitely holding on to something. To us, careers, studies, friendships and relationships mean the world to us, and obviously, we are all bothered by all of these issues so to speak.

I'm so happy that I bought something that I really like today. Went Bugis with Xuan and Sharon for a shopping spree and we were so attracted to the clothes in one of the stalls...we were madly in love with the designs that we tried lots and lots of them. And the stallholder was kind of pissed with us cos we made lots of noise in there, and kept asking her for discounts. What's bugis street without bargaining right? And we gave her excuses like we are students, you are the boss...blah blah blah. Following Dennis came. Was really quite weird but oh well...Then we went to the new shopping mall (don't know what's the shopping mall called), but I bought another thing that looks expensive but is actually $4...haha. I really felt like a princess today.

Pieces of me...

2006-02-22T21:51:00.000-08:00

It all seems better

2006-02-22T17:08:00.000-08:00

ND paper was the worst paper in my 3 years in poly. I actually knew what should be contained in my answers, but for a moment, I couldn't understand the questions. I told myself not to expect much from this paper, although deep inside, I do want more than a pass...Anyway, results will be out real soon and I'm hoping for the best.

Ritz Carlton called me 2 days back to ask me to go down for the 2nd interview. I'm definitely looking forward to it. Actually I was confused again 3 days back whether I should take up a degree course or start working. Because my mum told me that if I were to work first then study, my interest for studying may just fade away. However, my father feels that diploma is a prerequisite, and together with working experience, any individual would be able to soar to their highest potential. And well, my friends feel that its a waste if I were to give up for the time being...So what? What should it be? Perhaps I need to find time, all by myself to do some reflection and to see where God wants me to be...and what He wants me to be doing for Him rather than just to satisfy my desires.

There's no such thing as a bad day because everyday is a gift from God!

Went out with Yenru to Orchard yesterday after exams for shopping. Well. couldn't find anything nice. Well, we treated ourself Crystal Jade...Its a way of pampering ourselves after exams ya. I'm going to start my exercise regimes to burn off my hidden fats...

There we will be, at queensway and bugis tomorrow with my poly friends...its times like this that will be treasured and will be in my little pocket of memories.

Make it simple...make it sweet

2006-02-16T03:04:00.000-08:00

Exam sucks.

Just as I want to complete it, I also feel like giving up.

I hate it to the core.

When the sun shines and its time to get up, all I can think of is study.

The short naps in the afternoon was really horrible cause I get to dream about all the disease names. That's so yucky.

And I'm not sure of the reason why I'm so distracted. Should not be about that.

Oh come and save me!!!

Give me a high 5 =)

2006-02-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

I realised that I've not been blogging for quite some time. Yup, I'm lazy to translate my thoughts into words. =) Now where should I start?

I'm glad that we managed to have a farewell party for Ying Ci and at the same time to celebrate his 21st birthday last week. Well, I guessed most of us were quite emotional, especially when we go around sharing, and singing the song 'Friends'. This song really brought me back to the time when Ruth, kenneth, Ying Ci and I dedicated this same song to Andrew and Marion. Its a song that would probably bring me to tears. I guessed I'm going to miss this brother in christ.

The ND test was horrible. The questions were too open- ended to the point that I don't know what to write. Today is the last day of school, and I'm quite sad. I'm sad because I've truely enjoyed myself during these 3 years and I don't want to let it pass. Study week will be next week, followed by major test and exam.

Dinner and Dance will be on the 10th of March and I'm looking forward to it. I guessed I'm not really into R & B, but decided to go just for the fun and the quality time we are going to have as a school.

Ritz Carlton called me the third time, and I decided to go down for the interview yesterday. I guessed they must have been extremely mad at me. All thanks to my packed time table. The atmosphere was quite intensed during the interview, where I got to answer afew technical questions like 'where do you see yourself in the future?' 'How long do you intend to stay in this company?' 'How do you pleased demanding customers?'...Thanks for wonderful friends like Sharon, Ying Xuan, Li Ying, and San who accompanied me there.

Went Parkway with San and Ying Xuan for dinner. Ate Pasta Mania again...Yes again. Was supposed to go straight home after that, but the rows of shops were having crazy sales. Obviously we went crazy too. We bought ourselves a jacket each and a formal wear.

Yesterday after school, We went to celebrate Ying Xuan's birthday at Pizza Hut followed by some shopping. Yes, and we saw Chen Wei Lian...He's handsome k!

I'm thankful for wonderful people like Yenru and Xiwen who has helped me in my financial management topic.

Your letter was so unexpected. Thank You!

Horrible creatures

2006-02-02T02:58:00.000-08:00

Some people are just so horrible. My group mates can understand it. During presentation just now, we were bombed with lots of questions during the Q & A session. And where do all these questions come from? Mainly from that two person who have no consideration at all. Come on, aren't we suppose to help one another? And here we are struggling to answer, and before we could move on, another question was asked again. I'm really very pissed! And there she was, wanting to be favored by the teacher.

Should I go for the interview?

Enough

2006-01-31T03:43:00.000-08:00

I'm looking forward to the 22nd of February. Why? Because it is the first and last day of my exams, which also means I'll be graduating in afew weeks time. Of Course I do have some memories to hold on to, but for studies wise, I want to take a break. I'm not going to study anymore until I regain my interest in studying.

Chinese New Year this year was a so-so for me. I enjoyed the foods served at different homes. And the basketball and badminton sessions with my cousins were so fun.

I'm so proud of my lecturers. They kept postponing the ND quiz. This is the 2nd time in the entire poly life that they treated us well. Maybe because we are in our last year, so they feel the need to give in to us. We even wrote a petition to postpone the major project deadline. =)

Liberty

2006-01-15T19:19:00.000-08:00

My mind was not in a whirlpool of pandemonium or something like that, but somehow, I felt the need to go to church for a time of solitude. Headed down together with Ruth and to set aside a day with God and for God. Tired- strickened, having to wake up early was a real challenge at the start of the day. In addition, I did not plan beforehand the things which I wanted God to reveal to me during the time with Him. So there was I, a person without expectation, going into the 'quarantine' room alone. Before I started session 1, I feared that I would not be able to sustain for more than an hour, givng credit to the fact that I'm the type of person who gets bored easily. Well, what comforted me so much during the introductory part was the phrase that illustrates about how God chose that particular day to come and minister to me. Yes me. I felt so lifted, so love by Him. In the past, I would just believe that God loves me, and I'll try to kind of psycho myself to believe in this fact that was to me, impossible. But as I was doing session 1 on God's love, all I could feel was God's presence that was so close to me. This next sentence strucked me terribly hard. "Rejoice that you are what you are; for our Lord loves you very dearly. He loves the whole of you, just as you are." I was also thankful that I was able to relate one of my bitter friendship experience with Aunty Muifong. And what amazed me was that both of us were in the same boat before. I have learnt that peace does not merely come from frienship, studies or even career, but our peace ought to be centered and grounded on God. All I could say is that it was really God's timing.

Studied together with Jean for awhile after church, but ended up talking. I'm thankful for this sister that God has provided. I'm thankful for the certain level of trust God has placed in the both of us. Then there was I, together with people like ting, will, evan, edwin, yingci, joel, amy and ryan at the NUS concert. A well- writtened script, embedded with lots of joy, laughter and humour.

Set free

2006-01-12T03:17:00.000-08:00

I like the rain. How I wish the rain will not stop but continue to at least flood to my knee level. It would be quite an experience and am waiting for that day to come. I have difficulties understanding medical nutrition therapy for renal disorder and I'm hoping that an angel would just come down from somewhere, perhaps outerspace, to help me with my work. Before heading down to the NKF centre for my the fieldtrip today, I had brunch with Sharon, lizheng, junhui and fengchai. We made lots of noise as usual and took lots of photos at Mac. We just love to pose and pose and pose. And someone just commented that I look nice when I take photos standing at the right side. Well, I'm set to stand on the right side all my life now when it comes to taking of photos :) I felt quite enthusiastic when I stepped into the NKF centre but after standing still and listening to the doctor talk for an hour plus, I felt uneasy. The place was not well ventilated to the point where I felt like fainting. Was supposed to go to Mustafa to change something for my lab lesson, but headed home otherwise as I was not in the mood to go anywhere. The rain just makes me lazy.

I'm glad that we still keep in contact even after my Student Internship Programme. I'm glad that you were able to tolerate with all my nonsence despite the fact that I did those things on purpose and you so gracefully accept all those abuse. I'm sorry and thank you once again:)

I can't stop to marvel at this beatiful analogy. Last sunday's speaker talked about how bad it would be if sunshine is to be experience everyday. The land would one day be a desert. So, sometimes, God would supply the land with rain so that plants don't get withered, and the lands dried up. And he related this analogy to our lives. In life, it is not always smooth going. Let's accept the fact that we will not always get to experience 'sunshine' days. God allows storms in our lives for one particular reason, and that is to make us blossom, so that our lives would not be dried up, stormy, but rather well- nourished.

Jean and I are planning to go to Canada in December to visit Ruth. Hoping that Aunty Muifong and Ting will come along too. And there will be, in Canada doing street evangelising, shopping, food, and have a well spent white christmas over there. Am thinking too far, but I'm so excited and energised.

This will be my theme verse

2006-01-05T03:33:00.001-08:00

Psalms 37:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will grant you the desires of your heart."

I would summed up year 2005 as a year of great testings. If I were to view it at a different angle, these so- called testings has turned out to be a journey of character moulding, and I thank God for that. Reflecting back, I still believe in one true thing...That God has been faithful and will still be. I got back most of my term test papers afew days back, and I'm glad. Thanks to the one up there.

Times of refreshing

2005-12-28T02:05:00.000-08:00

The next day after Christmas,
My family together with a bunch of covenantors headed down to Johor.
Though it was a short trip,
It was well spent indeed.
I had 5 games of bowling with many,
and the shioooky Jarkuzzi. (I think I spelt wrongly)
Rui Lin and Kellyn went such a cutie,
we kept talking and laughing non stop.
And there was Gloria too.
She's ever so lighthearted and fun to be with,
Laughing so happily at all my stupidity...haha.
I enjoyed the talk with my mentor,
she's ever so sweet and concern for me.
We swam at the pool,
and teased all those girls that were in their bikinis.
The hotel toilet was horrendous,
a hole was seen at the shower area.

Christmas at Orchard was great. I felt so lifted as I slowly walked down the roads of Orchard Road with my friends and listen to all the beautiful carols. Its definitely pleasing to the ears. And there was this particular performance that made my tears flow. This African woman was at the stage giving her testimony and challenging passer-bys to drink from this river that is ever flowing so that they will never be thirsty again. I think this is what Christmas is all about. We should never forget the real meaning of Christmas.

"But we took Him and we nailed Him to a cross made of wood
And we raised Him high and dropped it to the ground where it stood
The blood that flows to the earth below
Brought forgiveness to the world that has treated Him so"

Check this out

2005-12-23T07:37:00.000-08:00

I felt so relaxed after my term test. I thought today's paper would complete the whole idea of a well- set term test for this semester because the 1st two papers were doable. Oh sighz, it turned out otherwise. There were a whole lot of calculations for my last paper. It's purely common sense questions but people who know me will know how dumb i can be at formulas and statistics and diagrams and tables...the list goes on. So, throughout the paper, I just created my own formulas and placed the numbers with a +, -, x or / and then ended with an = to solve the stupid culculation questions. Sometimes, in poly, what we need is just a pass cos some modules are simply too horrible. Nonetheless, I must thank God for guiding me through this term test. I remembered how I so wanted to hand in my CSAS paper after checking when I discovered 3 mistakes. During my term test preparation, I felt calm and peaceful. In addition, during this period, I made it a point to do my quiet time before studying, and the times spent with God is indeed beautiful. Oh yes, and thanks to my parents and friends who prayed for me.

I'm glad that at last I'll be having my term break. Still, I'll be busy cos of the many projects and assignments that will be due when school reopens. Shopped at bugis and suntec just now with my dearest friend. Had Pasta Mania for lunch, followed by endorsing myself with some stuffs like clothes. Saw Jiayi, Zhen Hui, Jieying, Aunty Catherine and Terence today and chatted with them for a while. Tomorrow, I'll be going Orchard to see the christmas lightings again. I'm so into the Christmas mood now. I feel that as people get older, they tend to appreciate even the slightest things in life. Even the bad times would seem good at the end of the day because there are values to be learnt from those moments. Life would then be more enrich and meaningful than what the world perceived. So then, how do you define life?

'God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him'

Believing in reality as it seems

2005-12-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

On the 15th of December, I blogged my 30th post. The content was simply out of the norm. It took me lots of courage to pen it down. 'A whole load of feelings' would exactly be a fine description of the context. Hey, but why did I delete my entry the next morning? I myself can't answer. Perhaps its so hard to even type the simplest thing in the blog because people will know what's happening the minute they read it. That's the danger of it all.

But for now, here it goes...my 30th post. I was very encouraged by what Doctor Ed Pousson preached about. It kept me thinking about how we should cultivate spiritual discipline as it is beneficial to us. Solitude and fasting are effective ways to get closer to the Father. And together with this comes a spirit- filled life. I also learnt that faith in God requires no prove because sometimes we need to live without evidence.

I studied quite abit just now. Somehow I just can't concentrate. =( Oh Lord, fill me with your everlasting love.

I have been reading Boy meets Girl. I'm beginning to appreciate the beauty of making rightful decisions. Oh, Hey, God is a God of Romance. The first few chapters have already changed my perspective about relationship. I used to think that God is a boring God. How can He be a God of Romance? Now I know...God is a one cool God. God has a plan for every single individuals, and I guessed that the bottomline to an effective marriage would be a strong foundation of friendship first. And in the process of courtship, we ought to experiece a wisdom- guided romance instead of heart- guided romance.

************************************************************************************
Just Friends

We enjoy each others company but for the most part, we avoid it.
We pretend there is nothing there.We're just friends.
Every time we meet, it's awkward at first.
We check our guard and put up the walls.We're just friends that's all.

We call each other on the phone,and always have a good excuse for doing so.
Do friends need an excuse?You remind me that "We must be careful","We can't go there", you say.
The rules have been set,and we live by them.
We sit and talk for hours,two sets of blue eyes interlockedand neither turns away.
I hang on your every word.Your simple presence in a room,gives my life a purpose.
Add your voice and a smile,and I melt away.
But we're just friends, right?Why do I feel it's more?
Are we in self-inflicted denial?Our past hurts have made us so afraid,We'd rather be lonely than to take that chance again.

I wish I could tell you how I really feel inside.
That I'd be willing to take that chanceTo be more than just your friend.
I know you sense this, as I do,but it's easier to pretend.
Saying it would make it realand you'd run away and hide from me.
So I'll try and keep the flood gates closedand be content that you let me be,Just your friend.

Wonders of Heaven

2005-12-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

I feel that I don't have the time to really relax. I've been so stressed up this few days because term test is approaching in a weeks time. Hmm, I thought school just started not long ago? I have not even breathe yet. Its my last year and I want to end it well. Have not been updating my blog for quite some time too and of course, I don't think I'll be able to remember whatever I've done till this day. I'll just see where my words lead me. One of my friend told me that everyone should be resposible for their actions no matter what the case. Somehow, this plain yet simple sentence strucked me. To be responsible is to tell God our plans and allow him to speak to us too...That's responsibility. Had a shopping spree with Jieying and Vanny in Little India. Went to Mustafa to look for stuffs. Yup, then we headed to the banana leaf restaurant to have our lunch. Really enjoyed the time together. I think the personality test really did help though it hit me when I saw the results. I am aware of my state all along but I did not want to face it. I thought it may perhaps get better but it did not. After the personality test, somehow I felt compelled to change or rather improve the state I was in. I decided to make decisions for myself and not let others overrule me. I'm beginning to view life more positively too. All thanks to God, and I know He's still moulding me into someone better. I guessed I've something to learn too form my experiences. Perhaps about loving my enermies and praying for them. I felt a asense of freedom being able to let go of all these troubling issues and let God take control of it.

Attended hip hop lessons with Ruth on Tuesday at Jitters. The training was really tough. Imagine we had to learn it in an hour. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it! It's a way of relaxing, Yeah? =) On the way out, saw peryn and friend and she invited us to join her church for dance lessons. I'm all so excited. =)

Went out with Ah Moon (Haha) and had a great time of catching up. So coincident, can't imagine I met him outside our church.

Nafa test is going to start in an hour's time. I'm so so tensed up now. I'm afraid I can't take it. Just for today, I'll just take william and evan's advice and just open my mouth when I running. I'll see if it works.

Upcoming events...
Friday:Meeting Chai Yun;
:Constance birthday party
Saturday:Cooking session with Sharon, Novy, Chai Huat, Harfizah and Nurul
:Going to town with Yenru
:Secondary School gathering later at night
Sunday:Going for daryl's birthday party
Monday:Christmas shopping!!!

Madness at home

2005-11-30T02:06:00.000-08:00

I was so angry with my mum yesterday that I shouted and vented my anger at her. You know how unreasonable mothers can be right? I did not apologised cos I know from the beginning that I 'm not at all in the wrong. Even my father felt that my statement did not mean anything, yet my mum took it so seriously. I did not say a single word to her after that. Although things are back to normal now due to the fact that both of us treated as if nothing actually happened, I know that deep within, she demands an apology from me.

A glimpse of...

2005-11-30T01:40:00.000-08:00

I accompanied my dietician to the ward today and the few minutes of getting a closer look at one of the patient has indeed left a deep inpact in my life. This Indonesian lady is only 23 years old, and she had her large intestines removed. This means that she can't clear her bowels the same way normal people do. I saw it with my own eyes how the nurse actually inserted a tube into the ileum through a process known as ileumnology to remove her faeces. In addition, she's on total parenteral nutrition and is in a semi- conscious state. Seeing this thing happening to her makes me want to do a kind deed or say an enouraging word to her. However, what I could do was to see her suffering this torment and agony all by herself. It hurts me to see people suffering, especially where its not only the physical struggle they are facing, but also the mental, emotional and spiritual struggles. I guessed these people (patients) are the ones who deserves respect, having to fight the war and win the battle in order to live.

'More love, more power, more of You in my life'

Seize The Day

2005-11-18T01:35:00.000-08:00

Wasting my time away in the school library. My friends have all gone home and here I am, killing time while waiting for someone. Life's been great so far. School's so enjoyable cos my friends are just so lovely. Wonderful bunch of people. Yeah! I just hate those bitchy girls sitted behind me during lecture just now. They asked us to shut up while they themselves were laughing away. And during FSM lecture, we were there chatting and laughing despite people around us being darn serious and jotting down everything that the lecturer said. San told me a joke for the day. She said that people who are short are cleverer because their butts are nearer to their brain. So so lame but I really enjoyed this joke. And there we were, together with ly and sharon, teasing one another, talking about one another's boyfriend or admirer and criticising people. Quizzes up next week and I've no idea how is it going to be like. I feel that I'm more stupid after the long break. I just couldn't understand the FSM lecture at all. Its so dry and boring, and its so business- based. My brain just can't adapt so fast to something new, really. Lord, increase the brain cells in my brain please!!! I've got to go. =)

Olden days

2005-11-10T00:16:00.000-08:00

My, it's only the first week of school and the students are all loaded with lots of assignments, projects. The lecturers and tutors simply push everything to us, thinking that we are not humans but robots. I'm not too sure how I am going to survive this semester. I can't understand what the ND lecturer who is an indian is talking about. There's just too much of an indian essence. Told myself that I must pay more attention during Pastor Sunil's sermon and get the hang out of it. I think I ought to have a change in my study pattern. I want to study smart drom now on rather than study hard. Apart from studies, life has been great so far. Enjoyed the lunch we had just now with my khakis, crapping and laughing at one another. There's what makes school even more fun and relaxing. There's so much stories so tell, so much things to expose. And hey, I've a new job...to be a secret detective and draw information from sharon and jeffery. =)

Friendship do fade after a certain timeframe due to the fact that each one has their own dreams to pursue in life. Was just chatting with aloysius over msn, and we were there talking bout how close we were in secondary school, sharing secrets with each other, and now both of us admit that we just couldn't find time to maintain this friendship. Well, but is better, really, after bumping into him inTP almost for the past consecutive 2 days. Lots of effort must be put in for both parties to sustain every friendship.

Met up with Yenru after school on Tuesday. Ha, internationally recoginsed...and people whose name starts with A is indeed a curse so to speak. I hope I won't have to dwell on this manmade curse anymore. For all I know, God knows.

Yes, tomorrow's lesson starts at 1pm which means I can sleep like a PIG. Sleeping is my life. zzz!

So blessed

2005-11-07T06:31:00.000-08:00

I'm really grateful for everyone who celebrated my 20th birthday with me. Those warmed messages and well wishes, together with big and small surprises have indeed allowed me to feel like a 20 years old princess. Thanks Jun for the necklace; Sharon, Liying, Yin Xuan and San for the shirt, diary and bag. I promised that I will pen down my thoughts in the mickey mouse diary. And thanks for spending my birthday with me over dinner. The YA gave me a blasting surprise in which Ying Ci and Kenneth asked everyone in the hall to sing a birthday song to me, and Yes, the bag, I love the bag! My family brought me to Jack's place for dinner. I'm beginning to appreciate them more and more, and I'm thankful at how God works. His plans are perfect.
Sis gave me a borders' voucher, while my sweet little brother of mine gave me a handphone accessory and a keychain. Aunty Catherine bought me another bag. =) Thanks Yenru, Jeff, Yiming and Aini.

After church, Ruth and I met up with Aunty Muifong over lunch. When it was Ruth's birthday, we met up with Aunty Muifong too. Yesterday was my turn. Well, I guessed God wants to speak to us during our big day. I'm glad and thankful that despite what we are facing, our friendship is still growing strong. You will be my forever friend, Ruth!=)

Today was the last day of the intervention programme. Finally mind at ease. Aini and I had a great time laughing at people all the time. Most of the time we were there talking about the chi ko bei who kept looking at us as if he did not see a girl in his life at all. I really felt like gorging out his eyes. Ha, our conversation was extremely violent, but who cares? And that irritating chi ko Bei kept walking around and smiling at everyone he sees. Damm disgusting. Went back to school to meet up with my Apel class. Was voted to be the class rep. I'm not too sure what I'm gonna do, but I'll just do a good job and hope that everyone will just have a chance to enjoy one another's company before we graduate and lead our own lifes again.

The horrible lecture is going to start in less than 24 hours time. Kiasu and kiasi me will bring a potable tape recorder to school to tape my lecture. It does helps alot cos I'm a slow learner. So most of the time, I won't be able to understand what the lecturer is talking about. To me, its all crap and more craps. It's only when I get home and start revising that I find values and meanings in those craps. Everyone's talking about what they wish to do after they graduate. I'm confused myself. I love my course but on the otherhand, there's no university in Singapore that offer my course or something that is somehow related. Don't tell me this is a dead end cos nothing else interest me already.

Laughing stock

2005-11-04T01:30:00.000-08:00

Can't stop laughing at Chee Keong's weird nonsence. He asked me stupid stuff like do you like to fly, and if I prefer to sit in a single or double decker bus. He said that he's still a slacker in school despite getting pretty good results. And all throughout the conversation, we were simply justifying ourselves and comparing with each other. LoL! I did not know how it started back then in secondary 1. All I could remember was the very first Home Econs lesson that brought us together. Both just as innocent. I guessed we started to talk much more when we move on to our poly life. I was very inspired by how he decided to lead a simpler life. You amazed me once more with your stupidity=)

Met Jun on Thursday. Went to Sakae Sushi to have lunch, and we kept looking at the pretty babe infront of us. As we were doing our shopping, these 2 guys approached us and explained to us regarding some bank stuff. They were damm pissed when Jun asked how old they were. Afew minutes later, I asked them if they have any education. Gosh, it got the hell out of them, and Hao lian to us that they were from NTU. Ha! They really made our day by telling us jokes and suaning one another. Thx Jun for the birthday present=)

I've not been doing my Quiet Time for quite sometime. Perhaps I 've been busy these few days. But hey, busyness should not be the excuse right? But I don't have the mood to do. I've just checked my timetable for next semester. Its pretty much the same as previous semester...extremely PACKED. And the worst thing is that I'm having my ND module on Monday, which means that I need to study real hard cos I will be the first person to experience all the spot quizzes and tests. Arrhh. Headache.

Intervention today in Mount Alvernia was quite an experience. It's the first time I'm working in the hospital so I was pretty excited just now. I got a chance to see how the hospital canteen runs during their lunch hour. Was kind of taken aback by what Ms Lee commented on our work progress...It's below her expectation. However, her harsh words woke me up. She told us that we must value add to our work because in Singapore, everyone is so competitive. And in order for us to stay in the workforce, we must go the extra mile to be different, yet unique and excel all the way. Seriously speaking, we won't be practicing the things we study in school when we move on to the working world. Everything will be just different, not what we expect it to be. We ought to depend on ourself, yes ourself to climb up the corporate ladder. (Ya, not forgetting that I must also depend on God who is the main source).

Thus far

2005-10-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

Been so so so busy for the whole of this week, rushing through projects; meeting the dietician; going to school and running about to get all the stuffs ready for next week's intervention program. Hey, I'm all so excited, yet drained. And Yes, I can say for sure that it's all worth it though we experienced some set backs during the preparation.

Here are the events that we will be having for every Wenesday of the week when school starts.

Zoo- Be Wild
Sentosa- sun- tanning
Cow's farm- see my clone
Bird park
Holland Village- Shopping and clubbing
Picnic
Changi Village- Nasi Lemak

School's starting in a weeks time and I'm all so energised. I really enjoy school cos of friends, yummy foods, STRESS, lots of jokes and laughters.

Went to Orchard just now with one of my friend to shop. My legs are breaking. Will just wear flats in future to avoid all the blisters.

Indescribable feeling

2005-10-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

Counting...How many people actually think before they speak? Words do hurt, sometimes to a point where they cross over the limit. And that's terribly hurting. Illful words can be as sharp as a double- edged sword. And before you knew it, it has already left wounds and scars that perhaps won't heal even up till today. I believe everyone has hurt others in one form or another. No ones to blame. However, if someone were to plan a hurt and carry out that hurt, it would be extremely inhumane. Now, those temporary scars have now become permanent resisdence in my life to a point where it can't be mended anymore, forever. My name is safe.

God is the strength of my heart

2005-10-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today, met shuyi to go to Tampines Mall for some shopping. Blah, did not buy anything but much more penadols to stock up at home. I ought to feel better after drowning myself into many hours of sleeps for the past few days. Hey come to think of it, the more I study human anatomy and physiology, the more I am becoming paranoid. There was once, I had just a mild headache, and I thought it was some form of brain tumor. lolx. Back to the topic! There's really nothing to shop in TM. It's such a boring shopping mall.

I think sometimes I should learn to make my own stand and not allow circumstances to change my view about things. I think its important to tell your friend where you are coming from, while not stirring up a misunderstanding. I think its essential to have mutual understanding in every friendship.

At the same time, I went to bring both my sis and my phone for repair. Both phones are utterly useless. Ha, 6610i sux. I felt so loss entering a nokia shop as its the very first time I'm sending the phone for repair. It's always my dad or my sis doing this. Luckily, Shuyi was there explaining to me the proceeds and stuffs.

Been reading Purpose Driven Life book again from scratch. Throughout, it kept me wondering if we would be able to discover our purpose in life before we die. And what if we do not? What would happen?

^-^Moo Moo^-^

Sick

2005-10-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

Been feeling sick for the past two days. Having headaches, itches, jaw pains are really no joke. Hope it does not lead to dengue fever. I feel so bored at home, really. This has been my past two days routine.

1) Wake up
2) Read newspaper
3) Watch TV
4) Eat
5) Eat medicine
6) Sleep

A moment like this

2005-10-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my whole family went to Crystal Jade to celebrate my parents birthday. Wonderful time together I guessed. Throughout the week, I've been talking to both my parents about my life. I really thanked God for such opportunity- for such conversation with my parents especially my dad. Thinking back, I would not even tell him about events that had happened to me. My dad just commented a few weeks back that I would only go to him for money and nothing more. Huh? Perhaps I've always lingered on this thought that girls do click better with their mums. Sometimes it is not that I don't want to talk to them. Somehow I feel that they won't understand. Somehow I feel that they can't even understand. Somehow I feel that they think they are always right and I'm wrong. Somehow I feel that they think too much. Somehow I think that they are overly protective. Somehow...the list goes on. But I'm beginning to realise that its untimately for my own good. Ya, having a family is definitely one of God's many blessings in life...Better treasure them and not take them for granted.

'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother- which is the first commandment with a promise- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' (Philippians 6:1-3)

Life's beautiful isn't so?

2005-10-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

Went to school today to do some touch- up on the gantt chart and proposal. Following, I had lunch with Yin Xuan, Li Ying and Sharon before meeting Yenru to get our pay. I was very pissed off with my in- charge today. I called to ask her if I could collect my pay and she told me that I'm the only exceptional one who will collect it next month. I asked her why. Later did I found out that she could not find my pay slip that's why she lied to me. When she found my pay slip, she called to ask me to get it from her. *crap*...Don't even know how to lie.

I love talking to Yenru. In the midst of all the shopping, we talked alot about what we will be, or want to be in future. *Ahem*...A housewife? Career woman? No. of kids? Attention? Intention? World's view? God's view? Gal, if you are reading this blog, remember our deal ya? Promised to go Bangkok with the rest of them.

I'm beginning to appreciate hymms nowadays. There's just so much life in it.

I can't sleep! I can't sleep! I can't sleep! I can't sleep! I can't sleep! I can't sleep! I can't sleep!

Here it goes...attachment memories

2005-10-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marks the beginning of my major project. Had the second session with Ms Lee together with Sharon and Aini. To me, the second session was not as intense as the first. Managed to modify some recipes to ensure that healthy and more nutritious meals are provided. I'm glad that now is the time that we could apply what we have learnt in school. That's the beauty of it all.

Zhiming messaged me yesterday to inform me that Hong Bing, Guo Bing and himself will be leaving today. Well, they were also attached to the same company that I was attached to. Of course I really missed those moments with them cos I know that without them, I couldn't have survived. Hmm, in life, people come and people go. Today, they will head back to their hometown. The 3 of them, together with another guy who got sent back to china in the midst of his attachment were really fun to be with. I guessed its because we were the only attachment students there. So most of the time, we would usually hang out together in the workplace. Those memories are so hard to forget that I would rather not erase them out of my mind. The fight that has taken place between Zhiming and Hong Bing; the messages; his request; sentosa; airport; the sheltering using a cardboard from Blk 214 to 218; the call; eating lunch together; his photo; bread; kitkat; the smile; the code; Clementi...(I think only they will understand). But comparing their workload to mine, my work was real peanuts. They had gone through alot more, even more humiliation as compared to me, so i think by leaving this company, they could regain back their self- worth. The company is extremely ****

Summer times

2005-10-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

I know whom I have believe!

God can

2005-09-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

I wanted to blog so desperately yesterday but was too tired to even tap an alphabet. Well, yesterday was definitely well spent. My mum kept thinking of ways to discourage me from going, such as reminding me that 'Hey, it's going to rain, stay at home', 'If you are tired, then don't go out' and 'People do change over the years'. From the start, I knew that she was extremely against me going but I couldn't care less. I knew she meant well because she has been through those young adult years. On a lighter note, Jonathan and I met up for lunch yesterday in which we discussed certain issues. Following, I went back home to watch a show which I've always been watching- Indecent proposal. To put it simply, the storyline is about lustful desires of the human nature. Both the actor and actress were married to each other. They were attracted to each other out of pure infatuation, not love I guessed. Sex was the thing that brought them together most of the time as a couple. Their love code towards each other was:-

Person A: Have I ever told you I love you?
Person B: No
Person A: I do
Person B: Still
Person A: Always

Don't you think the love code is beautiful? I could see that they were pretty much in love till things started to set in. Arguements boils up within them and they were mad with each other for no valid reasons. In addition, when the couple learnt that they did not have enough money to pay for their house, they did not know what to do. While they were in a casino, a rich guy was attracted to this actress. This rich guy actually set a deal for them. He would offer $1 million to them if the actor could allow this rich guy to be with his wife for 1 night. He was reluctant at first, but gave in to this lustful desire in the end. Now then, why would I even watch this show? This show has constantly reminded me to do what is right in the eyes of God, and never to be a stumbling block to people around.

Went to jog around my vincinity. After eating alot these few weeks, I decided to lose those calories by exercising. I saw something disgusting. I actually saw a couple performing Aural sex in the park. Gosh, it got the hell out of me...Can't stand the sight at all!

Following, I went to Tampines Mall to meet Zhen Yuan and Chandhan. Both were my secondary school friends. They can be real wacky at times. I enjoyed their company. We were all along talking craps, lots and lots of craps...haha, hairy monster and monkey. Went to watch the Dukes of the hazzards. I kind of like the show as there were lots of funny scenes. Haha, got a good laugh. However, as I was sitted quite front, I felt like vommiting the minute the car racing started.

I'm thankful and grateful for:-
* Knowing God
* My loving parents
* My siblings
* My friends
* Having a wonderful holiday now
* A caring mentor
* Church
* Good sleep nowadays
* Happy times that have always reminded me about God's goodness and mercy in my life
* Sad moments that have always drawn me back to God; to hear his voice; not to think so highly of myself; to know that God is still faithful in the midst of the storms
* Her calling, and explaining to me
* Good health
* A course that I enjoy studying

God Can

When you can't move the mountains
Thats Standing in your way
God can
And if you can't turn your darkness
Into the light of the day
God can
When you can't find the answers
To all your doubts and fears
God can
When you are needing someone
To wipe away your tears
God can

Chorus:

God can do more
Than you could ask or think
He holds all power in His mighty hand
When You can't see your way
Just remember this my friend
God can God can

When you can't change your past
Or heal your broken heart
God can
When you can't find the courage
To make a brand new start
God can
When you are at your weakest
He'll fill you with His strength
It's not by might but by His spirit
That we do all things
Yes you can face your future
When your hope is in His hands
I have a God who can do anything
I have a God who is still the King of kings
I have a God who is able to do
Above and beyond what you could ask Him to

It is well

2005-09-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

Things happen for a reason. Sometimes, when things are smooth going, we don't even give a damm. However, when circumstances do not meet our wants, we get irritated by even the slightest things in life. Perhaps, we ought to look at life differently. Was flipping through the newspaper when I came across this interview section in which the press interviewed the boss of 77th Street. Words that were said from her heart was very encouraging. She said that 'we go through challenges whether we are Christians or not, except that as Christians, we know that whatever challenges we face, we have God behind us. This is our untimate purpose.' In addition, she pointed out that the secret hehind success is great determination and yes, PRAYER. Hey, I'm still growing in the process.

Woke up at 6:15am today. I was all energised for work today. Well, the last day of work was definitely well spent. Reached work today at 8am to do stock- taking. I really love monotonous stuff. Others may think its boring, but not for me. No matter how boring, I will still enjoy it. I started the day by counting more than a thousand cards, followed by lots and lots of soft toys. Then, I did some house- keeping. I had a chance to talk to the boss too. He's just too young to be a boss. In addition, he speaks super good English and he has this boyish cum cute look...Should be a model instead. He looks 99% like christopher Lee! Left for home after work cos I was having a really bad headache.

Decided to change my template cos the previous one was simply too plain or perhaps to be exact, ugly. Now, the black template has been chosen as I'm a black person. Love black colour to the maximum. Black symbolises GLAMOROUS. Black symbolises STYLE and what not.

I'm glad God answered my prayers regarding certain issues and He's starting to heal as I begin to release them into His hands.

Live it to the fullest

2005-09-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

Its been closed to 6 months since yenru and I met up with Qin. Heez, I'm glad that this friendship has always been strong over the years. Good friends are really hard to come by. It's amazing to see how we can click so well and catch up from where we had left from. We took lots of silly photos- photos with different poses. We headed to Kenny Rogers' to have our dinner. I've always been looking forward to dine in at Kenny Rogers' as the last time I ever step in to eat was the last day of my work there. I love the food...I love the people. You can simply eat up all the left over foods after closing. Those marcoroni cheese, mashed potatoes, garden pasta, muffins, pork ribs and loads of chickens. Those were the days! =) Andy! I did not expect that Kim Wah actually charged us $2.20 per person instead of the usual $10.80. So thankful, yet so pai seh. See, its good to work at different places, so that wherever you go, there will be discounts...wahaha. Following, we went shopping and I bought myself a pair of earrings. I really ate alot today and I really mean alot. I had zhui kway and chicken rice for breakfast, burger king for lunch, kenny rogers' for dinner, and burger king again for supper. Tomorrow, sizzler...I better start drawing up an exercise regime. At the same time, today was the day where we celebrated yenru's birthday. Glad she likes the present from precious thots. Met katherine and Xiuling today too at precious thots. When will I ever work with them again?

Funny things or perhaps, to be exact, weird stuff always happen to me. Oh well, I'm always the chosen one. We were on our way back from harbourfront mrt when our two guy friends entered the train. In a split second, the train door closed, leaving sharon and I outside the train. I told sharon to quickly board the other train so that we can catch up with them at outrum mrt station. I rushed into the train and the door closed, leaving Sharon at the mrt platform again. I looked around and I noticed that there was not a single soul in the train except me. Gosh, I felt afraid. I tried calling Sharon but there was no reception. Then suddenly, a mrt staff came to me and told me that I've boarded the wrong train and that the train that I was in was actually under repair. I told him that no matter what, I wanted the train to be back at harbourfront. He asked me to sit down and relax but I just could not. Can you imagine yourself sitting alone in the mrt train? Well, thank God that I managed to return back to the mrt station instead of some repair tunnels. At the same time, I thanked the Lord that at least there was a mrt staff with me, knowing the fact that northeast line does not require any driver as it is run by machines.

Once again

2005-09-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling rather down this few days. Somehow, i felt that there's no purpose in life. Never in my life have I had this feeling. I just got to blame it on hormonal changes. I woke up early yesterday to meet my major project's supervisor and evaluator for project interview. Thoughout the interview, I was just talking crap la. I did flipped through my notes on the way to school, hoping that I could secure a pass for my interview. But the interviewer just simply bombarded us with questions like 'how do you know you can ensure that 60% of the therapeutic patients will benefit from the nutrient analysis and information?' I was really stunned. Major project is not a module that is that easy to pass........oh well........

Yesterday, results were out. It was not as scary as compared to previous semesters as the sms only showed the results of 2 modules instead of other semesters, where there were 6-8 modules. I got myself a B for Food Safety and a Pass for Student Internship project. Indeed, I was very satisfied, but on the other hand, who would want to have just a B? Nonetheless, I thanked God for seeing me through this semester. It was a semester of moulding and shaping especially during my attachment days. The job was doable and I actually enjoyed. However, the thing that pissed me off was the people. Them minority of them treated me like a maid. They threw rubbish on the floor and ask me to clear. I was tasked to guard doors at times (Hello, am I a dog? Even dogs have better life) When my superior passed me a squashed piece of paper, I'm supposed to throw it away without him saying. Floors were swept and mopped on alternate days. There were much more. At times, I would just rush to the toilet to cry, to let it all out. I felt humiliated and ill- treated. But through it all, as I looked back, I noticed that in every step of the way, God has been there. I always wondered even up till today, how did I ever survive such a job? The answer is simple. It is by God's grace, mercy and His all- surpassing love for me. All ended well, and I'm glad.

Oh, this entry is going to be lengthy cos I have not pen down my thoughts for quite sometime. Went with Sharon, Qifeng and his cousin to Sentosa to sun tann yesterday too. The weather was super duper HOT. We had a great time under the sun. And the new toilet at Siloso is cool. Check it out. =)

Cell group at Uncle Henry and Aunty Carol's house was good. It was the first time that we had a combine cell group. It's great to see the YA coming together to praise our God, to dwell in one another's fellowship, to pray for one another, to encourage and to grow strongly in the Lord. I was touched by all of the worship songs that were sung. Some of the phrases that I felt God was speaking to me was 'Comfort, heal, restore with love'; 'Breathe on me, breath of God'; 'I lay it all down again, to hear you say that I'm your friend'; 'Help me find the way to bring me back to you'; 'To behold the beauty, the beauty of the Lord'; 'I'm in that place once again'; 'Thank you for the cross my friend'. It is always times like this, that will bring me back to God and to hear Him speak again. Following, we had a group session where we were supposed to relate a colour to 5 person, and also to state the strength of each person. For our group, we also stated our individual weakness, so that we could be humble and not to be egoistic. Amy describes me silver- quiet, wild at times, have a sense of self- control, knows what I'm doing. Jiawei said my colour was green- caring. Aunty Carol also said that I'm a 'green' person...can't remember her reason, oh ya, she said I was gentle...wahaha. Johnathan said that I'm realistic. Jacob said that I'm friendly (Haha, I can be dao if I want too k). Its so interesting to just state the good of people, to build one another up with words of loving kindness rather than to tear people down. That's the challenge!